


Love at First Sight

by ZaraLethallan



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Hinted Rape, Implied Sexual Content, POV Solas, Rape, Romance, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Solas Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-04-08 15:32:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 24,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4310694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZaraLethallan/pseuds/ZaraLethallan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(I am rewritting and editing all chapter that need it!) </p>
<p>Solas and Zara have a connection from the start, Slowly they get to know each other and fall in love.</p>
<p>Solas knows its wrong but he can't help him self, He can't help the feeling he has for her. She is nothing he expected she's sweet, outgoing, protective, understanding and open to learning what the Dalish have forgotten even if they are wrong.  He wants her to trust him, He need her to trust him.</p>
<p>Zara feels like the only person she can connect to is Solas, She feels like she could tell him anything and he would understand. She feels safe around him, though she doesn't know why. She wants to learn everything that he is willing to teach her.  Maybe they will become more then friends.</p>
<p>Solas and Zara are in for an exciting turn of events neither of them expected!</p>
<p>SPOILERS AHEAD!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love at First Sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Alright if you read my post before this, I am sorry to injure your brain with that pile of crap. Here is the new improved chapter! edited by the lovely: Wolf-Dreams, Halla wakes. So, please take the time to read my new work ;-) I would be more then happy to hear what you think!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Rewritten & Edited!)

“Make way!” A soldier shouted out into the crowd that was forming at the entrance of Haven. Solas couldn’t see what the people were trying to see, but he could feel something pulling him closer.

“Please someone get a healer!” He continued to plead, this gave Solas the perfect opening for him to get closer to see what was going on.

“I am a healer!” Solas yelled out, as soon as the words left his lips the people start to make a path, getting out of his way. Excitement coursed through his veins, sending electricity across his skin, through his nerves, making him come alive.

The guard looked at the man claiming to be a healer, eyeing the patchy clothes and the staff strapped to his back. No tattoos marked his face nor were there shoes on his feet. His origins were seemingly unclear and so was his ability to be trusted.

The soldier was carrying a slender woman in his arms, her face resting on his shoulder with one arm draped around his neck the other hanging limp to her side. A green light was shining in her hand.

As soon as he saw her he could feel a tug on his magic, like the magic in her was calling out to him. He didn’t understand what this could mean, for him to learn more he would have to study her. To find out what was pulling him close, to find what was drawing him in. As he got closer, he could see that the woman was a Dalish elf, with dark blue Falon'Din vallaslin all over her face and flowing onto her neck. Her hair was long, black and swept all around her in curls.

“Excuse me!” a disgusted voice called out over the crowd. He recognized the voice, it belonged to the Seeker Pentaghast. The woman who had shouted came through the crowd, her armor shining and sword near at hand. The people parted, not wanting to be in the way of the angry Seeker.

“I am Seeker Pentaghast, where did you find this woman?” The Seeker asked the soldier, not even paying mind to Solas. He could feel a tension in the air around them.

“She walked out of a rift….. ma'am before it closed…. Some woman was standing behind her…. glowing with a bright yellow light, ma'am. It was at the site of the conclave….” The soldier answered, his voice shaking.

“You mean she walked out of the Fade?” Solas asked the soldier before the Seeker could reply back to him.

The Seeker turned her attention towards Solas, she could see his staff was strapped to his back. His pointed ears bright red from the cold nipping at them, he had no hair to shield them from the frost in the air.

“Follow me! Come along Solas, we may need your help.” the Seeker said before turning to walk toward the chantry.

Hours before, Solas had entered the village offering his services to help with the Breach, upon arrival he had handed over his staff as a symbol that he was someone they could trust, someone that meant them no harm. He had just left from being questioned by the spymaster, satisfied with his tale. She gave him his staff back.

The Seeker was already a few paces ahead so he had to jog to catch up to her. “Seeker? May inquire where you plan on taking the woman?” he said.

“We are taking her to the dungeon. If she walked out of the Fade at the site of the Conclave then she may know what took place before the Breach.” Cassandra said in a hurry, still walking swiftly through the town, people moving out of the way as she approached.

“Isn’t it obvious she needs a healer? How am I supposed to help her if she is chained to the wall, Seeker.” It was almost a growl towards her. Solas couldn’t let this woman get away, she had his magic and he need to find out how before she woke up. If she would wake up.

She came to a stop to look at him, she could see that he was frustrated. His nose was wrinkling and eyebrows pulling together. “Very well, we can put her in a cell until she gets up.” she said to him.

Solas didn’t tell her the possibility of this woman surviving was very slim. Since she was a mortal and had the magic of a god coursing through her veins. This wouldn’t end well. This woman could lose her life and he was sure no one would even blink an eye at it. It wouldn’t faze them since she was some ‘savage’.

****  
The cell was dark and dirty. The fire’s light flickering on the stone walls. The woman was laying on a narrow plank of bed that was affixed with rusting chains for support. Solas was worried that they might give way.

Looking at this woman he felt like he had a connection to her. It went past his foci’s power inside her. He thought she was beautiful. He wanted to push some of the hair out of her face, but he knew better. There were guards everywhere around him. The Seeker didn’t trust him to be alone with her. Afraid that he might do something. Him being an 'apostate’ and all, and he knew better than to trust her.

“Update?” Cassandra’s voice sounded strained.

“In the past five minutes, I haven’t gained any more insight. What we know is the mark grows along with the Breach.” Solas responded but not taking his eyes off the woman, this task was more important to him then it was to talk to Cassandra.

“There must be more. Where did the mark come from? Who was behind her? Why did she survive coming from the Fade? What happened at the Conclave?….” Cassandra asked, overloading Solas with questions as she spoke in a rush.

“Seeker! As I have already told you, I cannot answer any of those questions by just looking at her hand. I wasn’t at the Conclave, I am not her. I do not have the answers for which you seek.” Solas said cutting her off.

“If you DO NOT learn more, then I will have you executed as an apostate!” Hearing these words from Cassandra’s mouth only angered him.

“You wish to have more answers! Fine! I am done here, I have all the information I can get from this woman. I would be surprised if she lasted the night. Take mind not to kill her, Seeker. She may be our only hope.” He snarled at her. “I am heading to the site of the Breach to learn more. If you need anything else, you know where to find me.” Finishing his rant he made his way to leave.

As he left the dungeon there was a part of him that hoped the woman would survive, not only so he could fix his mistake. But because he also wanted to get to know her, even if it was wrong. Having never even talked to her, he felt protective, that he didn’t want anything to happen to her. He needed to keep her alive, but there wasn’t much left that he could do.

He didn’t know why he felt this way, he never felt like this for anyone before. Maybe it was because she held his magic inside her. Maybe it was calling out to him.

He wanted to learn everything about her, about things she liked, to hear her story and how she’d come to end up with his magic. But the possibility of her surviving was slim, she may never even wake up again.

How did Corypheus even unlock the full power of the orb, he thought only he could do that. But Corypheus did, and where was the orb now. Surely it couldn’t have survived the Conclave. He hadn’t found any evidence of it being destroyed in the remains, but he wasn’t going to give up searching for it. He wouldn’t believe it was broken until he saw it himself.

He hadn’t told anyone about the orb yet because they wouldn’t believe anything he said about it and he knew if he did then they would lock him up and question him for information.

The only thing he could do now was to study the Breach and try to find some way to close it. So he could save everything that was in danger of being destroyed.


	2. Last Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (pre-relationship) Solas is about to give up, when Zara and him close the rift together. Alright so I cut like half of the stuff away. So take a look at the new and improved chapter. Wolf-Dreams, Halla Wakes helped me edit and get this ready for you guys. Geeky-Jez helped me find the dialogue I had been searching for :-) I hope you enjoy!

It seemed like they had been fighting the demons for hours now, Solas, couldn’t think of anything else he could do to try and close the rift or the Breach. Studying the mark on the woman’s hand had only gotten him so far.

It shook him to the core that his magic was inside her, a mortal. How would she possibly be able to help him when she was passed out in some cell? If only he had more time, maybe he could figure something out. After all, this was all his fault. Waking up from his sleep was like stepping into a nightmare.The elves were in a worse state than when he left them. He tried to show them the ways, but they turned him away. Everything he had done was for nothing. The Dalish were hostile and were considered savages, no longer anything that resembled his People. He only wanted to fix his mistake. How could he do this when the Dalish pushed him away and insulted him for trying to help?

They called him flat-ear because he didn’t have vallaslin. They knew nothing about him or of his purpose. They gave him the chance to even speak before they judged him, clinging to their discrimination and superstitions.After everything, why would they still want those markings? Did they lose the meaning behind them? Did they have no understanding? Everything of the old ways was lost or forgotten.

“Chuckles, behind you!” the dwarf named Varric yelled at him, shaking Solas out of his own thoughts and back to the horde of demons that kept coming through the rift.

He knew he couldn’t close the rift or the Breach. He was going to give up and leave. Solas was going to have to try to find some place that wasn’t completely ruined by the Dalish, shemlen or the children of the stone. After he killed this demon he would leave. He had no hope, none in Cassandra and he knew she had none in him. There wasn’t much of a reason why he should stay.

Seconds later he felt a familiar tug that pulled from his magical energy. Could it be? Could she be here right now? He didn’t think she would even be moving at all. That’s when he saw lightning strike one of the demons he was fighting, it caused it to twist into a pile of ash. He spun to look behind him.

She was standing there with a staff attacking these demons like nothing had ever happened. Like she hadn’t been passed out in some cell, she was focused on her enemyies and nothing else. He could see her brows knitted together while the magic was shooting from her staff, casting her spells as fast as she could manage. Every target she aimed for landed with success.

The more she fought with them, the weaker the rift seemed to become. Making his way to her, Solas wanted to try one last attempt to close the rift. Maybe she was the key, maybe with her help he could fix everything. Maybe hope wasn’t lost.

Grabbing ahold of her hand, he pointed it to the rift he spoke out. “Quickly before more come through!”

With her arm held out to the rift, it started to close. He couldn’t believe that it worked. She was the key after all. At that moment he had a spark of hope.

*****  
After closing the rift and killing the demons, Zara thought it was best to look around before heading to the forward camp. Living in a clan all her life, she was used to scavenging areas for the things they needed.

Zara was surprised that she was able to close that rift. This magic was strange to her. It felt different from the magic she usually felt. Her magic pranced against her skin in a cool movement. The mark was a warmer dance. When it was spreading the heat would grow with it. She could feel stabs of pain as it moved up her hand to her wrist. It wasn’t the worst pain she’d ever felt, but it was quite annoying to her.

“You are Dalish, but clearly away from your clan. Did they send you here?” She could hear Solas’ voice from behind her.

“What do you know of the Dalish?” She asked him coming to a stop, to pick up the loot from the demon she had just killed. Turning to look at him. She knew he wasn’t Dalish, but he was one of the people.

“I have wandered many roads in my time. Crossed paths with your people on more than one occasion.” His voice was sharp. Looking over her shoulder she could see that Solas was standing with his arms clasped behind his back. She could see that he didn’t think they were kin. This shouldn’t surprise her since most elves had this hostile opinion.

“What do you mean crossed paths?” She questioned him again, curious on what her being Dalish had to do with anything.

“I mean I offered to share knowledge only to be attacked for no greater reason than their superstition.” She could hear agitation in his voice. His left ear ticked just a bit as he tried to hold his composure, but she could tell she had gotten to him.

“Can’t you elves just play nice for once?” Varric said, trying to cut off the conversation. As he fitted Bianca on to his back, so they could move on.

“Ir abelas, Solas. Maybe later I’ll tell you the story of how I got here,” Her voice was strained. She was still bending towards the ground so they couldn’t see the slump in her shoulders. Even though her people thought any elf that wasn’t Dalish, didn’t mean she thought this. She believed all elves were kin. Her best friend was a city elf, they had found her in the woods alone and stranded.

Zara chose not to discern between city elves and the Dalish, they were one in the same to her. They were family, and she would do anything she could to help out one of her own.

Cassandra turned to look at Zara before saying, “I think we would all like to hear about that.” her body was rigged, still untrusting towards Zara. Even though they were fighting together they, had no trust between them. Cassandra had her hand resting on the hilt of her sword the whole time.

Zara no longer wanted to talk, she just wanted to close this Breach and go home. She’d enough of these shemlens for a lifetime. They were hostile towards her, watching every move she made. Of course, they thought what happened at the Conclave was her fault. She wasn’t surprised by their attitude towards her.

Zara just started to walk away, not wanting to deal with the people who were trailing behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: Rewriting this I noticed that I have messed up on Zara’s timeline for her back story. So I will also be going back to fix it!


	3. Homesick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (pre-relationship) Zara misses home, She goes to talk to Solas. They made plans which leads to Toasty Feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Wolf-Dreams, Halla Wakes for the edit!

She hadn’t been in Haven long, in fact, she had just woken up two days ago and finished talking to the shemlen that was running the ‘Inquisition’. They were now constantly asking for her advice like she would know what to do about the Breach. 

The fact that they were calling her Herald of Andraste, made her want to barf. She didn’t know what to make about these shem, most of them feared her or were disgusted by her origins. Even Threnn had mistaken her for some other elf, as if they all looked the same. They would all look at her when she walked through Haven. Some avoided eye contact with her. Spreading stories that her clan had captured and sacrificed children. 

 

They did seem to be going out of their way to try and make her feel more comfortable. Cassandra had wanted to get to know her more, so they talked for a good bit. Josephine was even nice enough to talk to Zara about her clan and where they came from. When she had told her they were just like them, but moved around a lot, she seemed pleased. Varric and Cullen were even trying to go out of their way to talk and be nice to her. Varric even gave her a copy of his book Champion of Kirkwall. Zara thought it was a great read, but it was really hard to believe that everything had happened as it had been written.

This change of heart was mainly because of her having the mark on her hand, at least that is what she thought. She had never been around this many humans. It was like she was lost in a sea of them. They were always calling her the Herald, and worshiping their beloved Andraste. She didn't believe in their Maker, she had gods of her own she would pray to. Her own people she needed to take care of.

 

The only other elves here were either the servants or Solas, who seemed like he didn’t want to talk to her. 

 

Feeling so overwhelmed with the emotions about being the Herald, she ran out of her cottage, only to come to a stop right outside. She cool air made her think about being at home. Where she lived in a tent instead of a cottage, where the people were more open. Where everyone was family.

 

Standing outside her cottage, she could see the snowing falling from the sky, landing on the people around her. The snow was so thick she couldn't see an inch of grass. The snow covered everything in sight. She was surrounded by mountains, frozen ponds, and an ice-covered forest with snow and frost hanging onto the branches.

Why would anyone make a village here, she thought. Her feet going numb from the cold, being an elf she wasn’t accustomed to wearing shoes. Wearing them only clouded her senses. She wanted to feel the grass between her toes again like when she was home. All she felt now was the gravel and snow. The rock underfoot she was fine with. It was the snow that drove her crazy. She preferred the feeling of the sun in warm kisses against her skin, the cool damp grass between her toes, the hot breeze blowing her hair all around her. 

Josephine had suggested that she try on some shoes since she was the ‘Herald’, that she should try to look the part. This only made her miss home even more. She had left all her friends and family behind. Her sisters and their children. Her heart ached just thinking about not being there while they were growing up. She was First to the keeper. Deshanna had taught her everything that see needed to know, and how to protect the clan. Deshanna had become like a mother to Zara, they were so close, and they had talked about everything .

The Keeper was someone the whole clan looked up to, that her people looked to for help. She didn’t want these people asking for her help, she didn’t even want to be here. She was only here because of the mark, and she knew the Keeper would want her to do what was right. Even if that meant helping fixing their mess.

Looking to the sky, instead of seeing snow falling she saw the trees of the forest. She imagined the grass beneath her feet, the warm air that would blow through her long black hair. Imagining what the hot sun would feel on her bare skin, she was covered in layers of clothing since it was so cold here. Zara's clan never stayed in one place, but they never ventured into the mountains near the cold and snow. Staying mainly in the northern area of the Free Marches.

With her eyes closed, she held her arms out and pointed her head toward the sky. She slowly started to spin, not having a care in the world. This was normal to her, to get lost in her own thoughts, not caring about anything or anyone else around her. She has never been this far from her family and friends whom she missed with her whole heart. Trying to shake this world, these feeling from her mind. She need to loosen up, this was something she and her best friend had done to make themselves feel better, to help them relax.

 

The snow was now making her feet sting caused her to stop spinning. Her hand darting up to the necklace that was around her neck. Fingers running along the dragonfly pendent. She felt better, like she could do this. Be the person that everyone needed, to save them all from the Breach. 

 

Zara had always seen Solas walking around without shoes in Haven not having a problem. Maybe she should try and talk to him on what his trick was. Why he was able to walk in the snow without freezing to death, or getting any frostbite.

 

Listening to his voice, which she found quite soothing, she could lay down and listen to him talk all day about the Fade. That was the only thing she thought he would talk about because he studied it, which only spiked her interest even more. Deshanna never wanted to talk about the Fade. Not after her original clan was killed off. Because the Keeper summoned some demon in order to keep another clan member safe. It hit her hard when she heard the news. Zara wanted to learn more about it, she had heard about the dreamer in Kirkwall and wondered how it worked. She craved the knowledge to understand anything and everything about magic.

Looking down she could see his cottage and wondered what he was doing. It seemed like he was the only one here that she might be able to trust. She sensed a connection to him that went beyond them both being elves. She couldn't explain the connection, but it felt like something was pulling her toward him.

She started to make her way to his place. The closer she got to his cottage the more she knew she was safe. She felt more than just safe. It felt like something was tugging at her to go to him. 

She couldn’t help herself. Standing outside his door she debated on knocking. ‘What does he even think of me?’ It was clear that he wasn’t Dalish. But she was sure he wasn’t city born.

 

But what clan didn’t have the vallaslin? She reached up to knock but stopped with her hand in the air. What if he didn’t want to talk to her? He had barely said anything to her since that conversation when he asked her what kind of hero she would be. So she just stood there for a minute trying to make up her mind.

****

He needed to speak to Leliana, to see if they found anything at the sight of the Breach. He needed to know if the orb had been broken or was there somewhere in the ashes. Everything depended on him getting the orb back, especially if he was going to try and fix his mistakes. He would never trust her enough to talk about the orb, but he could say anything left at the sight would help him learn more on how to close the Breach.

 

Walking out the door he could feel the snow upon his feet, putting a warming spell on them to keep them from freezing. He slowly started to walk towards Leliana’s tent.

Looking up he could see Zara standing outside her cottage, bare feet just standing there. Not taking his eyes off her he slowly moved towards the chantry, wondering what she might be thinking at this exact moment. He knew it must be difficult being so far from home, knowing she might never get to return. She had almost died when she was trying to close the Breach, but this didn’t seem to faze her. If she was scared she sure didn’t show it, she was even nice to the humans. 

He did not expect such general compassion, not after the run-ins he had with the Dalish himself. They seemed not to care about anything else but their past and weren’t kind to strangers. Yet here she was, being called the Herald and saying she would help attempt to close the Breach and the rifts.

He did not understand her, the more he looked at her standing there in the snow the more he wanted to go and talk to her. To find out more about how she thought. He was wrong about how she would act. He assumed she would be like the other Dalish elves he came across, but she was different, she was interested in what he had to say. She was more open-minded then he gave her credit for. What else could he be wrong about?

He was half way to Leliana’s tent when Zara, put her arms out and started spinning. What was she doing? He could see a smile spread across her face which made him stop him in his tracks. He didn't understand what she was doing. Everyone around her had stopped to watch. No one talked and no one moved. 

He felt a pang of jealousy, oh how he wish he would get lost in his own world without a care in the world. But he couldn’t, he was on a mission. He couldn’t let anything distract him. He shouldn’t let her distract him, yet he couldn’t take his eyes off her. Seeing her smiling and spinning made him feel happy himself, it even brought a smile to his lips.

“She seems perfect, doesn’t she Chuckles?” Hearing Varric’s voice brought him out of his trance. Turning his attention to the child of the stone, Solas stared down at him with a glare in his eyes. Varric's arm crossed over his chest

“Excuse me? I do not understand what you are referring to.” Solas said to Varric. Putting his arms behind him, he shifted his body to move away.

“Oh, don’t play dumb I saw you staring at her with longing. It will be quite fun watching how this plays out.” his voice had a hint of amusement. Varric dropped his hands to place them on his hips.

“I think you misunderstand me Varric. I was simply looking at her mark. As you well know I have been studying it trying to learn more about how it can help us. Now if you are quite done I have business to attend to.” Solas voice was calm as he started to walk away.

He could hear Varric say under his breath “Sure, you do. Bet he doesn’t even know I can see her watching him from across the camp.”

Walking faster now to get to Leliana’s tent, he thought about what Varric just said. She was watching him, but why? Did she suspect him? Did she think he was lying about who he was? That couldn’t be possible. He had mastered the art of wearing his mask long ago. 

Maybe she was just curious about him. All she knew was that he wasn’t Dalish nor a city born elf. None the less, he couldn’t let her get close. He would not let his guard down around her, he needed her trust. He was done thinking about this. He needed to talk to Leliana.

Reaching her tent he poked his head inside, “Excuse me, Leliana. Can I have just a second of your time? I have some questions.” The tent was dark except the candle that was lit on the desk, everything was neat and organized.

 

“Sure, Come on in Solas? What are you questions?” Leliana's voice light and friendly. Her body turned to face him, but her gaze never left the papers and letters in her hands.

 

“I was simply wondering if you found anything that might help me with my research at the sight of the Breach. Even the smallest thing might help.” Solas voice was calm, despite the worried feeling inside him. He stood tall, confident, like he had nothing to hide.

“I’m sorry Solas, but we haven’t found anything yet. But as soon as we do I will make sure to bring it to you personally.” She told him as she set the documents aside, finally turning her head towards him with her hand resting on her waist.

“Thank you, I will let you return to your duties. If you need me, I’ll be in my cottage,” he said with a straight voice, hiding his disappointment. 

Ducking out of her tent he looked towards Zara’s cottage. She was no longer there. She probably went inside, to get away from the cold.

 

He could feel grief coming up behind him like a wave. He was hoping that she had found something by now. Where was his orb? What was Corypheus doing? There was no way he could have unlocked the full power of the orb, it wasn’t possible. Getting close to his cottage he looked down at his hands, picking at his finger to try and calm himself.

 

 

“He doesn’t even want to talk to you. This was a stupid idea, Zara. Like he would possibly be remotely interested in answering your questions,” he heard Zara's frustrated voice. Looking up he saw her standing in front of his door, the corners of his mouth pulling in different directions.

‘How long had she been standing there debating on knocking and talking to me?’ Her black hair flowed down midway to her back, with half of it in soft braids. She was wearing Dalish armor, like she was ready to go somewhere. One hand in a fist, it hung in the air like she was about to knock on the door.

Approaching her with caution, he heard her say out aloud, “Asking about how he keeps his feet warm is stupid. He will think you are a child. You should just go back and forget this ever happened.” This amused him, he didn’t know why but he liked that he wasn’t the only questioning himself. Her head fell towards the ground as she turned to leave. She hadn’t seen him yet, but he was going to answer her question.

Solas spoke clearly so she could hear her him respond. "I use a heating spell. I place it on my feet when I walk out the door. I can show you if you would like?” As he explained he saw the shock and embarrassment spread across her face.

“How long exactly have you been behind me?” She asked while looking up at him, but not meeting his eyes. Instead, her eyes focused on his mouth.

He couldn’t help but laugh. “Long enough Da'len, and no, I do not think it was a stupid question. If you have any other questions, I would be more than happy to answer. But the real question is how long have you been standing outside my door?” Looking down at Zara, he couldn’t believe he just flirted with her.

“Oh, not long in fact I was about to leave to meet Mother Giselle in the Hinterlands, a hint on why I am wearing this armor. I don’t have time at the moment for you to show me the spell, but how about this time tomorrow?” she said finally looking into his eyes.

Zara's armor was tight fitting with a leather coat hanging on her shoulders, but he could see her feet were bear. He guessed she was still refusing to wear the shoes Josephine suggested. 

 

“I would be honored, Da'len. Tomorrow I will show you the spell.” His voice was soft and inviting. Solas moved closer to where they were standing only a couple of inches away, close enough to feel her breath on his face.

“Okay! It's a date then!” she said with excitement. “Oh my, that’s not what I meant, I didn’t mean like a date.” Her blood started to rise into her cheeks making them bright red. “I simply meant that I will see you tomorrow, here in your cottage…. By the Dread Wolf why can I not stop talking, I’m making a fool of myself. I have to go. Ir abelas...”

She rushed forward to get away, but suddenly stopped in her tracks. “Oh, one more thing. I need you to come with me to the Hinterlands with Varric and Cassandra. Is that okay with you?” She was still blushing from embarrassment.

“Ma nuvenin, Da'len.” he spoke never taking his eyes off her, as she turned to walk away.


	4. Starry Eyed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW WARNING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shout out to llynnyia who helped me edit and get all the smutty details in here. Another to wolf-dreams-halla-wakes for helping me with edits on this :-) these girls are so sweet. Shout out to inanotherworldvhenanpl for the encouragement she gave me to finish this chapter. Last shout out to fenxshiral for the wonderful names I found in his Project Elvhen: Book of names. Thank you for taking the time to write that out.

Again: NSFW Warning.

As the sun set it cast the backside of the mountain in shades of light oranges and pinks, falling over the dense tree canopy that became a dark purple. Earlier, along a hidden trail near the Redcliff farms, they found a beautiful waterfall and a small cave that looked to be a perfect place for the four-person team to make camp.

Unfortunately, there was no way to get down the mountainside safely. It was risky to climb down in the deepening darkness. Cassandra, as her stubborn usual self, was willing to risk the chances, but with both Solas and Varric on Zara’s side, the decision war was already won. So they made the short climb back to take shelter in the cave just as dark fell over Thedas, with only the stars to guide them. With the heavy canopy of trees, they had little fear in their minds of anything giving their camp position away, but they still kept the camp sparse.

The flames of the fire were barely big enough for Zara to cook her mother’s ram stew recipe over. They kept to blaze small so the smoke wouldn’t give them away. They had some extra ram after dropping off the hunt they had gathered to help the starving refugees at Crossroad’s village after dropping the meat off to the hunter, who was kind enough to take it upon himself to help feed the dispirited people. Ever since, she had kept an eye out searching for tasty or practical the herbs she would need. Once they got settled in she got the fire going just at the mouth of the cave so the smoke wouldn’t make it difficult to breathe inside.

While Zara began preparing her stew, the other members of the camp had rolled out their sleeping and were tending to their gear. Cassandra was in a contorted position trying to tend to the blisters caused by her leather boots getting wet and drying as they walked. Zara remembered that her clan would help her tend to her wounds. But Cassandra didn’t have that, maybe one day Zara could help her, like she would with one of her family and clan members.

Varric tried to stifle another yawn with the back of his hand as he carefully cleaned the gears on his beloved crossbow. Cleaning every inch and crevice he could reach. Zara could tell that not only did he care much for his crossbow, but that he also care deeply for the women he named it after. Back in Haven he had briefly mentioned the one story he wouldn’t tell. Bianca. Zara hoped that Bianca made Varric happy. She wished that one day to meet this woman he seemed to admire and loved so much.

The utter silence from her companions was discomforting. Even Solas passed by her without uttering a single word to sit outside the cave on the flattened boulder a few paces from the entrance. Zara watched her fellow elf as she stirred the stew pondering what she felt for the older man. What Solas saw as he stared into the distance, she didn’t know perhaps he was just lost in thought. Perhaps he too was missing his family.

Soon it was completely dark outside the cave. They were all sitting around the fire eating their dinner accompanied only by the sounds of chewing and shallow breaths. The weather here wasn’t so bad, she could get used to staying in the Hinterlands. She thought as she took another bite of stew, Zara could never get the spices perfect like her mother had. Still the warm stew was still savory and divine as she remembered.

Overall she’d had a good day. She got to talk to Solas about the fade. Zara had even got Cassandra to smile when she was spinning in circles at the summit, She almost thought she saw Solas smile but wasn’t sure.

“So, how are we going to decided who goes first to clean up in the waterfall? Will it be the Seeker and Zara? Chuckles and Zara? Or, Seeker, would you prefer to bathe with me so I can protect you from the bears?“ His voice was in a teasing manner.

Hearing Varric say this made her choke on a mouthful of stewed ram. Blood rushing to her cheeks, she turns to look at him. She could hear Cassandra make a disgusted noise as she scooted to the other side of the log, away from Varric as he winked at her.

"What would make you think Solas and I would bathe together?” her voice strained around a nervious squeak as her mind was racing over the sudden suggestion.

“I hear that elves don’t mind nudity or that not the case?” His voice still mischievous, Varric’s his keen writer eyes darted back and forth between Solas and her.

Solas hadn’t made any attempt to answer the dwarf’s question. He just kept his attentions on the food that was in his hand. Zara alone was looking up at Varric as he oh so casually refilled his wooden bowl.

She was embarrassed for both herself and the dwarf’s apparent ignorance. Now feeling a bit humiliated, Zara tried to keep her eyes locked on a distant spot on the cave wall.

“If you think we run around our camps naked, that’s usually not the case. Yes, there is little privacy in a clan, always the chance you might see something you weren’t expecting.” She spoke trying to laugh off the idea, with a forced chuckle as she set her bowl on her lap, knowing that alone would not placate the short statured man.

This wasn’t a conversation she thought she would be having at dinner. Feeling Solas’ eyes on her when Varric laughed made her blush even more. “You said usually, so that means it happens on occasion?” Varric said while wiggling his eyebrows.

Cassandra shifted uncomfortable on the log she was sitting on trying to ignore the conversation taking place. “Does it matter? Was there a point behind this question Varric?” Zara saying while she moved her hands up to cover her face that was so red by now Solas no doubt could see it, especially with the superior vision elven eyes had that made them reflective at night. She was mortified enough for both of them by this point in the conversation.

“I was just wondering if Solas and your lovely self were going together to try and save time….” Before he could finish what he was saying both Zara and Solas interrupted him with a resounding, “No” a little too fast and loud. This caused their eyes to meet for a brief moment before they both looked away. Even in the low lit cave Varric could see he had exposed their feelings with the both of them, the color red spreading across their faces.

“Just to end this conversation I will go first, Zara you may join me if you like.” Cassandra informed them as she gathered her belongings from her pile and walked towards the waterfall.

A silence fell over the three of them, no one quite sure what to say next. Just thinking about bathing with Solas made her stomach have butterflies. She barely knew him, but she was attracted to him. She knew her reason for saying no was because she liked him and was embarrassed about the way the conversation was going. Not because she didn’t relish the idea of him washing naked with her.

But why did he say no, was he not interested her in the slightest? Was the thought of bathing with her so out of the realm of possibility? Zara thought, feeling slightly hurt. Maybe he was interested in her as much as she assumed. Maybe he was just being polite and she read the signals wrong.

“I’m going next then since no one is claiming it,” Varric said interrupting her thoughts “Okay then, I am going for a walk” She replied before she stood up. As she turned away she noticed, Solas likewise get up and move to his mat on the cave floor.

Earlier Zara had spotted a trail that lead away from the cave, and more importantly away from the waterfall. She followed it upwards with just her thoughts.

It reminded her of when she would go on walks when she was with Harea, who was her best friend. Harea always knew how to cheer her up. Always knew when Zara just need to get away, she could remember countless of times they would just sit in the forest with nothing but the birds singing and the warm breeze blowing through the trees. She could remember holding her hand and Harea telling her everything would be alright. That she would always be there for her. Zara could feel the raw emotions of pain, loss, and grief pushing to the surface. Taking a big breath, she pushed them back down. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about this, now wasn’t the time to fall apart. Walking to her was like a fresh breath of air that filled her lungs.

*****

When she returned to the cave awhile later only to find the fire was very low, the only light was coming from the embers of the campfire that was dying slowly. She paid no thoughts to the sleeping bodies of her companions lying down in the cave. Gathering some of her things, she headed toward the waterfall, looking at the stars to guide her instead of the path.

So lost in a world made of her own thoughts, she almost didn’t notice the sounds coming from the water. She had never had to bathe alone when she was with her clan. Before she left for the Conclave she had been bathing with Eolaselan, the elven man the Keeper set her up to bond with. Before that, Zara used to bath with Harea. The two of them didn’t get along with the rest of clan since Harea came from the city elves, and Zara was an orphan. They’d still had the hahren watch over them to keep them from harm. Slowly bringing her head down, she called up her magic to the surface. Her magic to started to spark in her palms. She was lucky that she was an elf if Cassandra was in her place she would have never heard the sounds of someone ahead over the thunder of the waterfall.

Getting ready for a chance solo attack, she put her nightwear, soap, and rag down. Zara peeked her head around a large rock to see what she would have to fight. She didn’t see any Templars, bandits or wild animals. A shock ran through her body and her legs went numb. She could feel her arms and legs start to tremble. She could barely believe her eyes. Solas was waist deep in the water. He must have moved the rocks around and made a small pool of deeper water.

His back was towards her, but even in the moonlight she could see the well-defined muscles in his back. As he scrubbed his chest she could see his muscles rippling in movement. He was standing under the waterfall, the water raining down on his naked body. She could only see his back unfortunately because more water covered his lower part. She couldn’t look away. She couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe.

She shouldn’t be watching him bathe, she needed to leave, yet she fought the urge to get closer. To strip naked and join him in the pool of water, to place her lips against his and taste him with her tongue as she asked for more. Their mouths locked together in passion. She pictured putting her hands on his chest and slowly running them down his torso until she reached and felt the length of him. Zara could see herself getting lost in the moment as one hand twisted in her hair while the other teased and played with her breast.

“No.” She heard herself growl in a very low voice, clasping her hand to her mouth before he heard her. ‘This isn’t right I need to leave’ she thought. She quickly and quietly picked up her things and she made her way back to the cave.

When she got there she went straight to her mat. Deciding not to bathe tonight she put her belongings back into her pack. She knew the other two were asleep so she slipped out of her armor and into her nightgown as quietly as she could. Varric only snorted and rolled over and Cassandra was so deeply asleep Zara believed she would sleep through just about anything. She walked out of the cave again, to a rock that was placed right outside.

She was so lost in thought that when she heard his feet making his way to the cave she suddenly started to blush. Her mind once again dwelled on just seeing him half naked. Seeing the water run down his body. Each drop taking on a silvery glisten. For an elf, he had a lot more muscle then the men that were in her clan, she already knew he was taller. They were just not cut like that, and besides, she could never have guessed he was so toned. It was difficult to tell under the wool sweater he always wore.

She felt something drop beside her onto the rock. Looking to her side she saw the rag that she had taken with her. She could feel Solas behind her, the heat of his body and his breath lingering on the nape of her neck. “I believe you dropped this, Da'len. I imagine it would be difficult to bathe without it,” he whispered in her ear, his voice husky. He enticed the feelings inside her and called them out from deep within. Feelings that she didn’t know she had.

Making it so hard to breathe, to think clearly. “Ir abelas, I didn’t know I dropped it,” her voice low, barely breaking past her lips, as she turned her head to see him better. Their faces were just inches apart. Her mind thinking about how the water just barely hid his legs, his butt. His….

“Ma serannas, for returning it to me.” She said spoke again, not moving even an inch away from him. From the heat of his body or the distinct smell that floated like a cloud around him. Did he know? Did he know that just his breath on her neck made her nipples harden and her heart gallop in her chest? Could he know that she saw him in the waterfall bathing. He couldn’t. Could he?

Maybe he thought she left the rag when she went to bathe. If he knew, was this his way of telling her he knew, or even telling her she was welcome to look? Or more than look? Solas moved away, but then walked forward to sit on the rock beside her.

Once he walked out in front of her, she could see he was wearing some dark breeches with a deeply cut shirt that lay opened down midway past his pecks and bellybutton. His collarbone stuck out the edges of his shirt, the fabric tight over his biceps. His breeches tight to the point she could easily see his legs were well muscled. So muscular it made her breath catch in her throat. His legs were not the only things cradled tightly in those pants.

Zara had to force her eyes up to his face. She had spied on the boys as all the girls did at least once, and none of them looked nearly as largely…un-proportional as Solas was. Even the man her keeper wanted to bond her with couldn’t compare.

Zara couldn’t help but cross her legs, pushing pressure into the spot at was coursing with excitement, with lust as she watched him. Thinking about his strong arms and legs pinning and holding her up against the rock as he begged for entrance. As he offered to take her with promises of anticipated pleasure. Her only other lover had never fully breached the depth of pleasure she wanted, she needed. Solas whispering sweet dirty nothings into her ear as she came into a bliss of ecstasy.

Zara shook her head, to knock the thoughts loose. “Ma Falon, why are you not sleeping in the cave?” his voice breaking the silence that had settled around them once he sat down. She could see that the corner of his lips as they were up into a smile. Zara couldn’t help but bite her bottom lip, oh the things she could do to him. “I wanted to watch the stars for a while before bed. They comfort me,” she replied her eyes moving to the jawbone he still had hanging around his neck, it only made the muscles under his shirt stand out even more. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, how does it comfort you?” his voice wrapped around her smooth and calm. They could hear the snores that came from the cave grow louder. His thigh firmly pressed along the side of hers. One of his hand hanging by his side, his fingers accidentally touching her skin. She could feel the heat of his skin radiation off of him.

“The stars, the moon, and the sun are constant. No matter what happens around me, they do not change.” This was a little personal for her to tell him, she had never told anyone else before in fear that they would think she was mad. Even her friends back in the clan were so set in their views that if anyone was different they would just shut them out. Call them crazy, or worse call them a friend to Fen'Harel.

They stood silently together for a moment longer. “I see. Goodnight.” Solas said before moving away, but he suddenly grabbed her hand a placed a kiss upon it. Solas’ lips hot on her palm, her body flushed and she gasped sharply. He held her hand for a moment longer his thumb sliding over her knuckles. Waiting, but she just didn’t know how to respond, didn’t know what to say. Instead, she just watched him walk away.

Suddenly Zara was alone, staring back at the stars as she fought the urge to go grab him and do unspeakable things to him. Again and again. She fought the feeling to push him into the wall and place her lips on his. The urge she had to pull his breeches down and take in the rest of him. His skin on her, hers on his.

This was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Harea and Eolaselan are the names.)


	5. Harea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter goes along with the Starry Eyed. Instead of it being in part, I am making them into separate chapters. A huge thanks to wolf-dreams-halla-wakes for helping me edit this. A thank you to llynnyia and inanotherworldvhenanpl for talking to me about my emotions while writing it. All 3 of you helped me on this, the chapter really hit home.

Zara laid upon her side, with her arms wrapped around her torso. She knew in the morning she would have a stiff back, since the floor was rather hard and bumpy not even her pallet spared her. She could feel the cold radiating up from the floor. The cave was almost completely dark, her shadow danced against the lichen-covered, damp stony walls. Watching her silhouette twist in the dying firelight, she could only just make out the low, immobile shapes of her sleeping companions. All she had to go on was the shallow breaths and snores heard from behind her.

Her hand was holding onto her necklace, the chain cutting sharply into her palm. She felt the years of pain coming to the surface. Scratching, clawing, and tearing its way into her body until she felt the pain radiating through her torso before it pulsed outwards across her chest and down each trembling limb.

Zara could feel the floor shaking beneath her and she put out a hand to steady herself. That’s when she noticed the quaking actually came from her chest. She pulled her legs up to her chest as she tried to muffle the pain, to stop her body from moving. To suffocate it and push it back inside her. Silent tears began rolling down her face.

She could remember the source of the buried anguish like it had happened yesterday.

_“Zara!! GO!!” She could hear Harea’s voice a blood curling scream. Several men stood around her. One of them roughly holding her by the short crop of brown hair. Harea’s green eyes were filled with malice, darting towards the man who held her. Zara felt the rage of power that came to her palms._

Zara shook her head, trying to loosen the image out of her mind. She didn’t need to be thinking about this. Not now, with everyone around her. She needed to get away. She needed to get a grip on reality, to keep her mind in the present time.

 

She straightened her body out as she moved her arms to push herself up and off the ground. So she could get out of the cave whose walls were closing in around her. It felt like someone was grabbing her heart and squeezing with all their might. The pressure and pain ripped across her chest, making it hard to breath. She could feel her lips go numb before she noticed that she had been holding her breath. The distressed elf knew running wouldn’t help, that the thoughts were always going to be buried in the darkness of her memories. Laying in the part of herself no one knew about, forcibly concealed fragments that she would never show. But she had to try.

 

Coming to her feet, she looked around before heading out. She could see all three of her companions were fast asleep. Cassandra was sitting against the wall with her hand resting on her sword. Across from her was Varric who was holding onto his crossbow. She could hear him mumble, but was unable to make it out.

 

Zara’s eye ended up resting on Solas who was lying on his back, arms crossed on top of his chest. He looked so peaceful laying there. Wishing she too could just go into the Fade and have pleasant dreams that were filled with knowledge and journeys of the past. The feeling of pain started to stir as it began to mix in with the envy of her friends’ serenity that was slowly pouring into the bowl of emotions that was encased inside her mind. The anxiety came over her again. She worried that someone might notice. A spark of guilt ignited, for more than not being able to save her friend. She was far from happy. It was like an unwanted guest had come in and shook all her emotions free from their carefully stored places. All her pain crept back into the empty riverbeds, carved by loss, that were imbedded into her soul.

 

She pulled her eyes away from him as her bare feet ambled across the dry, soft dirt. While she walked she could feel the loose cave silt crawling in between her toes. Instead of digging her toes in deeper, like she usually would, the Herald kept moving. One step at a time. One breath at a time.

 

_“I am not leaving you!” her own voice was laced with the old fear. Her whole body shook, as the magic buzzed around in the air. Two shemlens moved towards her with their arms out. They were going to try and grab her with their dirty, brawny hands. The man who held onto Harea pressed the blade he had in his hand to her throat. Cutting just enough for a bead of crimson to fall._

_Zara could see the man move his head closer to Harea’s face, his nose and mouth up against her ear to say something sinister. “If you try and move I will make you watch me rape and kill your friend.” She could barely hear his faint voice where she was standing. The hand that was holding on to her head had moved down to start untying the laces on Harea’s breeches._

_She started to panic then, throwing lighting to hit the men around them. She wouldn’t dare try to hit the man holding Harea, worried that she would also hurt her friend. Harea would get away from the man. She was strong and quick enough to flee. That was when Zara would attack him. So focused on striking the other men she hadn’t noticed the man behind Harea had both his and her breeches laying at their feet. The blade still in place, his other hand clutching at her exposed breast, beneath the blouse that had been ripped wide open._

_Harea eyes shone with pain and anger as the man moved against her. Forcing her. Harea’s and Zara’s eyes locked. Zara knew what was about to happen, as the thought surfaced to her mind. She saw Harea turn and bite the man’s ear off and slammed her elbow into his side. Zara was still throwing lighting at the men. Her face was wet, but she didn’t understand why. It wasn’t raining where they were._

_Hearing the terrible man curse, she turned her head to the sound, but her eyes were still locked on another human who was trying to come at her. “ZARA, AR LATH….” She could hear the voice caked in terror as Zara’s eyes darted back to Harea. At that moment the man had his hand over mouth and moved the blade across her throat. Zara could see a red liquid pour out of the wound as Harea fell to her knees. It was too thick to be water, too dark to be wine. Her hand grabbed at her throat._

_‘The red liquid is blood! It’s blood!’ Zara’s voice shouted inside her head._

_Time stood still as she tried to grasp what just happened. She froze, looking at her friend’s face. Her eyes moved down to the bloody throat. Reaching out, Zara tried to send her healing magic towards her. But she was too late. Too late to save Harea and her body fell onto the ground._

_“NOOOO!!!!” Zara’s voice rang through the trees around them, as even more power surged toward her. Rushing to her call, the magic flowed through her body. Shooting out in waves of lighting, hitting the remaining men that quickly began to collapse to their knees with the force. Her head shot back towards the sky as the magic kept coursing through and out of her body._

_A scream that torn down the trees, a scream that stopped the wind from blowing escaped from her mouth. Zara had to help Harea, she had to help her friend. She couldn’t be dead. Harea was only resting. Only wounded. She would be fine._

_As the last wave of lighting went out, all the men fell to the floor. Zara dropped her head and felt her shoulders weighing heavier as her feet scraped against the ground, moving to Harea’s form that was now lying limp._

_Zara dropped to her knees, her hands reaching out, pulling Harea’s undeniably lifeless body into her arms. Her skin was becoming cold to the touch. Zara’s body started rocking back and forth._

_“Harea, come back to me.” Zara’s voice was steady in spite of the pain that surrounded her, wrapping around her body like a blanket. Willing her magic to try and heal her friend. But nothing was working. No matter how much she tried, willing her magic with everything she had._

_“Ar lath ma. Come back to me! I need you!” Zara’s voice started to break. Her eyes were dry and irritated. She looked at her best friend._

_'No, No, No. This can’t be happening, she can’t be gone.’ Her own words echoed loudly and her trembling lips nearly uttered them again. Harea was her best friend, the one person she could count on. The only person who believed her, the only one that came close to understanding her. Harea was her lifeline to the world, she meant everything to her. Her fingers caressed the motionless face, looking down she noticed she was still bare. Removing her own coat, Zara placed it over her body and waited for Harea to come back. To return to her._

 

She could remember when the clan hunters found her. Harea’s body had started to stiffen. They were surrounded by the bodies of the shemlen lying around her. Zara’s arms still around her Harea, covered in her blood. Refusing to move. Saying she wasn’t going to leave her Harea, when she needed her the most.

 

It had taken hours for her sisters had to coax her into finally letting the body go. They took her away to clean the dried blood that stained her skin, the red, sticky goo that had soaked onto her clothes. Even if they managed to get it out, they would never wash away the blood that covered her soul.


	6. Tippy Toes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Varris teases Solas and Zara about a date... Edit by ultrachicory

As the sun started to rise, Zara watched as a range of pinks and oranges twirled and twisted into breathtaking swirls that danced in contrast to the bright neon-green tear in the sky. The soft, carefree clouds floated high above all the heavy, worldly troubles that cursed her mind. Through tired, longing eyes, she drifted towards their imagined comforts. Despite the dangerous Breach up there, the thick fluff in the atmosphere was a more of a tempting respite than sleeping down here among the dark and never-ending strife. The destruction of the Conclave. Along with the Templars and the Mages ceaseless fighting, it was all quickly becoming too much.

Soon the rest of the gang would be waking up. If she wanted to get back to Haven before nightfall they would have to leave soon. She had plans with Solas later after all. They were going to meet at his cottage, as they’d previously discussed. That way he could show her the warming spell he so cleverly used. However, she was no longer certain if this casual meeting was a good idea. To even consider spending time alone with him, it almost made her feel nervous.  
Why bother even getting closer to him. When everyone else around her eventually got hurt…

Standing with her hip pressed against the wall of the cave’s narrow opening, she could hear the others begin to rise. They picked up the camp without saying a word to her as she continued to gaze up at the ever-changing sky. All her worries slowly floated away with the gentle wind, as she tried to forget all the horrible memories that had haunted her hours earlier. Along with all the recollections that were clawing at the surface to get out.

Finally turning away, she moved back into the cave and started to pack her own possessions. She didn’t look at her companions, the last thing she wanted to do was show them the turmoil freshly churning inside her. She was barely able to keep them locked away. She did not want to show her weakness…

“We can either eat or head out.” The curly-haired elf’s voice came out sharper than intended. Her exhausted eyes fell on Cassandra as she started to reply.

“We have a long journey ahead of us Herald, best to eat and then head out.” Cassandra seemed exceptionally stern for this time in the morning, fresh from sleep the tall woman was already tense. Perhaps her own fading dreams had left her mind and muscles in tight knots as well. 

“Cassandra, how many times have I asked you to refrain from calling me that? You know I hate being called Herald.” Zara had a bitter taste cling to her tongue as she spoke to the religious woman. She didn’t wait for a response before she shot off again, cleansing the disdainful word with her own preferences.

“If you wish to address me, please call me by Lavellan or my name, Zara. I am just like the rest of you.” Her narrowed eyes darted toward Varric, catching him elbow the other elf as he laughed.

“Look Chuckles, we’re going to see a cat fight.” Solas turned his head toward the child of the stone with an unamused look on his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but Zara didn’t wait to hear what he had to say. Instead, she turned and stormed out of the cave. Wanting to get away.

Stepping out of the cave, she turned the opposite direction of the waterfall and saw the dark green leaves that lingered onto the trees. They started to rustle as the wind blew through the forested area. With quick and silent feet, she scurried into the woods. Zara began to think back to Eolaselan teaching her to move through the forest, teaching her to hunt. To survive. She could remember him standing right behind her, his breath on her neck. She nearly felt his remembered, phantom hands wrapping around her waist. His heated words in her ear, whispering that they had more important duties to the clan than hunting while he pulled her against him.

She had never pulled away from him, mainly because they were a properly bonded pair. They had a duty to the clan to continue the line of their people. He already knew the arrangement wasn’t personal for her, that she didn’t love him the way he deserved to be loved. No matter how hard she had tried, she could never return the feelings that he had for her. Zara gripped her stomach as she taste the bile that rose to her mouth and she tried to push the feelings of regret back down. She had to let the past go, there was nothing she could do now.

As she inhaled a deep breath she moved forward into the forest upon the mountain, her eyes tracing a faint rabbit trail as she glided further away from the cave.

A short time later, she had caught up with her prey. Slowing her approach she drew her staff out, aiming it just the right way to give a precise death blow. She could feel the magic dance forward to her call, filling her with power, flowing through her and out to the rabbit. The lighting struck the furry creature, as it made a squeak and fell over into the grass. Striding over, she let go of the magic, letting it slip away as she picked up her kill and made her way back to camp. 

***

The green-eyed elf put down the empty bowl, that was filled just moments before with a warm, creamy rabbit stew. She knew it was time to get ready and head out. Especially if they expected to arrive before nightfall. Turning away from the gang, she started to dig inside her pack for the cloth that she need. After a little rifling, she finally found the long, thick fabric laying at the bottom of the bag.

She started to cross the wool in a pattern up her foot and calf in order to keep her feet warm and protected. Finishing up, she could see Solas’ feet were bare. Holding out some extra wrapping to Solas, she asked him before thinking. “Do you want any?”

“I use a heating spell. It shall not be necessary.” Solas abstained flatly while still looking at her.

“Oh right, that reminds me. Are you going to teach it to me tonight?” she asked, glancing back at Solas.

Before he could answer, she heard Varric laugh. “What do, the two of you have a date tonight?”

Solas eyebrows knit together. He stared towards Varric as he retorted between his firmly held teeth. “No. It’s not a date. I was simply going to show her a spell on how to keep her feet warm in the snow. Not that it is any of your business, Master Tethras.” His poised words were like venom directed at Varric. The dwarf flinched away from the bald elf, trying to hide his amused smile.

The only thing that kept her from asking Solas to teach her now was the previous promise of them being alone later on that night. The image of him bathing still refused to leave her mind, she couldn’t help but feel drawn to this Fade fancying elf. It almost felt like his soul called out to her own.

Turning his attention away from Varric and back to her, he started to speak again. “If you would still like to learn the spell, then I would be happy to show it to you. If you have any questions, I’ll also be happy to answer them.”

Varric was still laughing when he said, “I’m sure that isn’t the only thing you want to ‘show’ her. If you know what I mean, Chuckles.” As soon as the words left his lips she could see Solas’ cheeks and ears turn red. He was blushing. She started to giggle as her own features reddened to match his. This was the first time today that she felt better, happier than she had been the night before.

Solas growled a bit under his breath. “You should learn to hold your crude and devious tongue.”

Zara watched him with careful, cautious eyes as he stood and strode over to join Cassandra. “Where is he going, did we upset him?” She muttered to Varric, who now was staring at her with a barely stifled grin wrinkling his eyes.

“Don’t take it to heart, Tippy Toes. That was my doing. He’ll be fine soon enough.” Varric assured her mumbled questioning. He got himself up to follow behind Cassandra and Solas, who were now walking towards Haven again.


	7. Sinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New chapter~ This was suppose to be a rewrite of Toasty Feet but it ran away so I have a new chapter YAY! Instead of going straight to see Solas, Zara passes out in her cottage, only to get an uninvited visitor.

Snow danced against the ground as it whirled and curled in the wind. It was an elegant movement, peaceful in its softness. The temperature had dropped in the last hour, and Zara could see the breath that Cassandra exhaled. The seeker's back was straight when she walked, her hand rested on the hilt of her sword. She moved with a sway only a warrior could have. Cassandra stood with a confidence that commanded respect; this was a woman that could lead an army.

The chilly breeze kissed Zara's cheek. She raised her hand to her face and felt the blood that had risen to the surface in an attempt to bring her warmth. A ringlet had fallen from her braid where the wind brushed against her. She reached for it when it started to tickle her neck. She grabbed onto it and started to play with it, her gaze drifting to peer at Solas. He was focused on his fingernails, his feet so light Zara couldn't hear or see his footsteps in the snow. She tried harder to hear him, but the only thing that made much noise was the laboured breath of the dwarf who struggled to walk beside her. When she looked at Varric, she could see his eyes darting to everything around him. The author inside him was cataloguing all the little details, and she assumed his internal thoughts would sound similar to a story being read aloud.

Zara wouldn't be surprised if Varric could see the unpleasant black bags that had gathered under her eyes. Such were the consequences of a night without sleep, a night haunted by the darkness that was her memories. She knew better than to expect a full night of rest, the nightmares haunting her since before the Conclave. She had no doubt that it did not matter what race a person was, sleep deprivation was the same for everyone.

Upon their return to Haven, the Herald’s energy was totally depleted and every step she made felt as if she had stones tied to her feet. She struggled to remain upright as she walked through the gate, and she could see that she was not the only one suffering. Varric had stopped at the doors, leaning against the wood while he attempted to get a handle on his ragged wheezing.

A yawn escaped Zara’s lips as she pushed open the heavy oak door to her cottage. She tripped and fumbled in her effort to untie the knots and belts on her armour. She could feel the fade pulling at the strings of her mana, echoing a familiar lullaby. The fade's ballad was more alluring then the idea of seeing Solas. Zara dragged her feet as she made her way to her bed. Her head hit the cool pillow and her eyes slid shut as she fell into the realm of dreams that awaited her.

She could hear the crackle and saw the glow of the hearth, and it made her feel safe. The walls of her cottage dissolved into smoke around her, leaving her in a sweet-scented forest. Vines had snaked up and entwined around her furniture, making it look like everything was a part of the forest itself, alive and breathing. Tonight the fade made her feel like she was back among her clan. Like she was home.

Much to her surprise, Solas sat in the chair nearest her desk. Letters from her Keeper rested in his long, elegant fingers. His back was straight, his legs crossed and his hand rested in his lap. There was something different about him, though, something she couldn't put her finger on. The air that settled around him gave him an eerie presence, the light from the fireplace flickering on his sharp features.

"Solas?" Zara whispered. It felt like if she made the wrong move the dream would shatter, and it would turn into the nightmares which consumed her life. His blue-grey eyes caught hers, the corner of his mouth raised in dark amusement. This side of him was foreign to her. Outside the fade, Solas seemed harmless. Someone that was tame, cool, and controlled. The figure sitting in front of her was nothing like that.

"It would seem you have missed our date." His tone was laced with disappointment, and Zara couldn't blame him. If he had blown her off, she would be upset as well. She was usually a very punctual person, but after the previous night, she couldn't help but give in to her exhaustion. Her hand trembled slightly under his stare. It felt as though his eyes pierced her soul, and it made her uncomfortable. She balled her hands into fists at her side in order to control herself.

"Garas quenathra" She asked him, her better judgement questioning everything. Was he real? If he is real, why does he seem so different? If he is not real, does that mean he is a demon come to tempt her?

"Oh Da'len, I am here to teach you." He purred. Despite his displeasure with her, his voice was gentle as though he were addressing a frightened child. With a curl of his fingers, light and green smoke appeared and solidified into another chair, identical to his own.

He placed the letters back on the desk and gestured towards the seat, the movement of his wrist more graceful than usual, "Please, sit."

A calm sensation beckoned her to step forward and sit at his command.

"What do you want?" She sneered, her lip curling slightly to flash her teeth. Not once did she take her eyes off him. Zara was angered that he was in her dreams; could he be just one of her nightmares?

Solas chuckled, the same laugh he had uttered in those first hours that they had met, "I am what the Tevinter would call a Somniari. It is how I have acquired my vast knowledge of the fade and the secrets hidden within." Even now his laugh made her heart flutter, and she felt her palms get clammy. She couldn't help the blood that rushed to the tips of her ears.

One of the many lessons she remembered about demons was that they would come to you wearing the face of an ally in order to gain your trust. Zara knew she could not trust this Solas. Everything he said could be a lie. If only she could figure out if the was the real Solas or not...

They sat in silence as she carefully looked him up and down. He looked like Solas, but the subtle details nagged at her. His confident smile, the soft elegant silk of his tunic. This Solas was... wrong. It was in the way he held himself.

Her teeth pierced her own lip, a drop of blood dripping from the wound. So wrapped up in her lust that she didn't flinch at the sudden pain. Physical and mental pain was nothing new to her.  
Zara's heart thudded against her ribs; pounding as it struggled to break free. Solas’ eyes were locked on her injury. His hand suddenly shot out, and a gentle, calloused thumb wiped the blood away. He gripped her cheek, and she could feel his aura brush the cut. The familiar tingle of healing magic swept across her skin. Her lip was healed, and his magic caressed her own before fading away.

She wrapped her hand around his, sliding to the edge of her seat. Zara leaned into his touch, their faces inches apart. She recognised the faint smell of ink and pine needles on him. He was so close, so close she could feel his breath on her skin. She could see the light gray rings in contrast to his baby blue eyes. How she longed to kiss him, to have his taste on her tongue. Her eyes slid closed as she took a moment to relish his presence. They were never this close to each other in the waking world. She lost herself in a sea of pleasure, revelling in the joy of being around him. Intoxicated by his touch. If only she could have more peace in her life, she could be happy with him.

When she opened her eyes, she saw his gaze locked on her mouth. He moved closer to her, swift and confident, but she gasped and turned her face away. His lips pecked her cheek, missing their intended target. His touch tickled her skin, and Solas nudged her face to tempt it back towards him. She couldn't help but compare his skin to Eolaselan. Solas skin was softer than she had ever imagined. Her hand squeezed his as she spoke.

"I know what you are, Desire. You will not tempt me."

Zara shot straight up in her bed. She looked around wildly, making sure she had really made it out of the Fade. The hearth was empty, and so was the chair Desire had used. Even though it hadn’t been him, she still wished that he had been waiting for her in her cottage when she woke.

"It wasn't him." She scolded herself. Even if she desired him, she was sure that Solas would never feel the same. He only saw her as a student, an elf who wanted to learn more about her past. Someone who was marked with magic she didn't understand. No. She would be more than that. More than just a poor unfortunate thrust into circumstance beyond her control. With her driving thirst for knowledge, she decided, she would use him, learn from him everything that she could. Everything about her history that the Dalish got wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garas quenathra ~Why are you here?
> 
> Edits by Karmadragonia


	8. Toasty Feet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS UNDER EDITS! IF YOU HAVE READ TO THIS POINT PLEASE STOP UNTIL I CAN UPDATE THE STORY

After the conversation with Varric, Solas left as though his nerves were raw he was already nervous to meet with Zara. He was going to show her a spell to keep her feet warm, like they had planned after he had caught her talking to herself in front of his door when he came back from speaking with Leliana. To calm his nerves he went to the tavern to have a drink or two, then she caught him. She was wearing dark blue breeches that were a similar color to the Falon'din vallaslin on her face, her long sleeve shirt was cut a bit showing a bit of cleavage. Her shirt barely went all the way to her breeches, a brown fur throw was hanging on her solders along with her long black curly hair. She still had the top part braided, and the sides where shaven down the the scalp just the front area the back were grown out. What hair wasn’t braided hanged down on the Fur throw. She truly was beautiful, he thought to himself slightly buzzed from the drink.

****

Zara followed him outside to his cottage, she had never been inside before. There was papers and books all scattered over his desk, he set the basket down on the bed along with tea. She crossed the room to look at his desk, while Solas started a fire in the fireplace. She could see a piece of paper sticking out from under a book, picking it up she saw drawings of Haven. But it looked different then it did now, she almost didn’t recognize the village. What gave it away was the frozen pond and the mountain. Suddenly she felt Solas right behind her, “Ahh, I see you found my drawing.” he said looking at her face.

“Its beautiful, Do you always draw?” she asked looking back at him.

“No, I prefer to paint. But on a better canvas then wood and paper.” slowly grabbing the drawing from her hand as he started to clean up his desk. “Whats better then wood and paper?” she asked him curiously. “Stone, when you paint on it the picture can last years, maybe even centuries.” Solas said with a smile on his face. “Oh, I that would be better. I guess that was a stupid question.” she said as she turned to the bed to get the basket so they could set it up on the desk.

“Its not a stupid question Lethallan, Would you like some tea?” Solas asked moving away from her now.

“Yes, please.” she took the fur throw off and placed it on the chair she sat in, she watch Solas move the kettle into the fire. After seeing him without a shirt, she could now notice the muscles underneath his sweater. She watched him as he work by the fire, She could tell why his name meant pride. The way he held himself, like he could and would be able to do anything he put his mind to. Not the bad kind of pride but the good, the just. Still starring at him as she was lost in her  
thoughts she hadn’t notice him speaking to her.

****  
-Solas-

 

“Lethallan, would you like to eat first or work on the spell.” Solas asked her, waiting for an answer but it didn’t come. Looking at her, he could see she was lost inside her own world. That must be nice, he envied her for that. But it was one of the things he started to like about her, along with she was always trying to look at the best of things. She was a kind spirit, tho she tried to seem hard on the outside. Strolling over to her laying a hand on her solder he said “Lethallan?” Her bright green eyes came up to meet his.

****  
-Zara-

 

She felt the pressure of his hand on her solder, “Lethallan?” his voice calling her out of her own thoughts. Looking up into his blue-grayish eyes as she started to respond “Yes, Solas?” her eyes never leaving his. “ I was asking if you would like to eat or get started on the spell.” a slight smile pulled the corner of his lips, she wandered if they were soft. “Ir abelas, It’s been a long day. We can do the spell first.” she said touching his hand that still laid on her shoulder. He waited a second before pulling away.

Grabbing another chair to sit next to her now, “ You can take the ribbon off your feet, It will get in the way while I teach you.” he told her staring at her face. She started to unwrap them, feeling his eyes still on her. When he was done he asked to grab her foot “May I?” he asked before touching her. “Go ahead.” she said trying not to blush.

Holding her foot in his hands he start to speak. “First off, you need to think of something warm. Like a fire or the sun, doesn’t really matter on what you go with.” with his hand place directly on the bottom of her foot she started to feel heat coming off his hand. “Secondly, you push the feeling of warmth to were you want it to go, you will first feel it in your chest. Now I want you to try, but think of your hands to we can see if you are doing it correctly.” he said now putting her foot down. With his own hand out towards her, placing her hand in his she closed her yes and started to think of how your skin felt she the sun shining down on it.

She started to feel the warmth in her chest when she gasped out of surprise. She focused the heat to move to her hands, she could feel the heat going up her chest and pushing its way down her arm until she felt it in her hands. She couldn’t believe it, she had succeeded in the first try. With a big smile on her face she opened her eyes and looked at Solas. “Well done, lethallan.” she heard him say, slowly moving her hand out of his putting it on his arm now. “I can’t believe it, my hands are warm. You can feel it!” she shouted in excitement.

So caught up in excitement she stood up and pulled him into her embrace. Placing her arms around Solas’s neck, “Ma serannas, Ma melava halani!” she felt him stiffen for brief second before relaxing and putting his arms around the middle of her back “Your Welcome, Lethallan.” he whispered back before he started to pull away. “OH, Ir abelas. I shouldn’t of done that.” she said quickly pulling back and grabbing her fur throw. Before he could respond she continued “Its late, I should go. Again Ma serannas, I’ll see you later.” she spoke as she ran out the door.


	9. After Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is very short due to the fact that it is only a follow-up chapter

He was at lost for words, It had been so long since someone had hugged him. It wasn’t something that he was expecting, she had pulled him into a hug. Standing so close to her, with her hanging onto his neck felt nice. He wasn’t sure what to do next, so he relaxed and put his arms around the middle of her back. He could smell the warmth in her skin where the sun had kissed it, but she smelled mainly of lavender blossoms. Her curly hair tickled the bottom of his chin and neck. This embrace was unexpected, but he didn’t regret her doing it. She thanked him for helping her, he couldn’t help but smile and say your welcome.

It ended to soon, she had pulled away apologizing, saying it was late and she had to go. As she ran out the door, the food on the desk was left untouched. He was now standing in the cottage alone. He put his hand on his neck where her arms had been just a second ago, closing his eyes trying to remember this moment perfectly for later. He like Zara, he liked her alot since she walked out of the fade she was all he could think about. When he slept he would have dreams of her, spinning around in the woods with her arms spread out as far as she could make them. The prettiest smile upon her lips, often in the dream she would grab his hands and make him spin with her.

He knew if he had feelings for her it would be wrong, he had to stay away. For her own good, he wouldn’t put her at risk again. It was his fault she had the mark, his fault the sky was ripped open with ciaos all around them. He was the reason she was sent away from her clan to spy at the conclave, all because he trusted someone else. He wouldn’t make the same mistake again, He had to wear his mask. He couldn’t anything happened between him and Zara, he had to be strong.

****

Running out of the cottage the warming spell was still in her hands, she pushed it to her feet as she ran to the tavern. Getting to the bar she ordered a drink, what just happened in there had her shaking. She had huged him, and he had hugged her back she couldn’t believe it. Chugging the drink that the bar keep just gave her, helped calmed the nerves that were jumping everywhere inside her. Him putting his arms around her had felt so nice, like it was suppose to happen. She wasn’t thinking, she was just so happy. Her ears and throat now were hot from the drink, she wondered how he felt about her. Did he like her? Did he see her in any other way then just the “Harold” or a friend.

They were suppose to go to the Hinterlands again and finish making it safe for the people. Maybe then she could talk to him a little more, get a better feel about him. Paying for the drink, she left the tavern to return to her cottage she needed to get some rest before they head out again.


	10. Day Off

The last couple of weeks had been tiring, They finally finished clearing out the Hinterlands making it safer for the refugees. Master Dennet had joined them in Haven to help with the horses. Every time she finished a mission there seemed to be more that she needed to do.

Today she wanted to take a break, she didn’t want to go to the war table and talk about what the Inquisition was going to do next. Cassandra and her weren’t on good terms at the moment because she had said if she could, she would go home now. Why was that even a surprise? She was Dalish, she lived with Clan Lavellan her whole life. She wasn’t use to any of this, of everything these shems wanted to ask from her. Was it so wrong that she need to take the day off? They all complained when she had asked, everyone but Josie who understood that she needed a second to catch her breath.

The tension that was in her muscles began to ripple as she was working out, yes she was a mage. But if she couldn’t fight with her staff she wasn’t going to be left helpless she would fight with her hands or the spare dagger that she carried around. Not only did working out help her fight back, but also helped her feel better. It was something that she could control. So much had changed for her, she could barely control anything that was going on in her life now.

She was different, and when she talked to Solas she questioned everything. He knew so much about the history of the Dalish. It shamed her that when he tried to reach out to her people they insulted him instead of taking a second to listen. She wasn’t surprised that he disliked the Dalish, even the other elf in Josie’s office was mistreated by her clan and she was born Dalish. They had sent her on her way at the age of seven because she was blessed with magic. It seemed as tho the other Dalish clans weren’t as nice as the one she came from.

As she thought this it just made her work even harder, She was not like the others. She would never turn her back on her own kin, she would want to help them all even if they weren’t Dalish. They were still kin to her, they shared blood and the heritage of there people.

She heard he door to the cottage open, this only upset her. They said they would give her a day to herself and here they were now, coming to bug her again about another thing she need to do. Without turning around she spoke out “So, I see all of you must have changed your minds. What do I need to do now?” she couldn’t help the bitter tone that was in her voice. She heard the person grow every still before they thought of a reply. Good she thought, maybe they would just leave her be.

“I apologize for intruding, I didn’t expect you to be in your cottage. I assumed you would be locked up in the war room….” Solas was the last person she expect to answer her question. Quickly she turned around to see him standing in the middle of the cottage with her ribbons.

“Oh, Ir Abelas. I thought you were someone else. They agreed that I could take the day for myself.” She spoke as she walked towards him, looking at her ribbons.

“I see, I came to return these.” Solas said as he handed them to her. It had been weeks since that night she fled his cottage, she was surprised he still had them.

“Ma serannas, Solas” after she spoke he had started turn and walk away. She reached out and grabbed his arm “Wait”, at her touch he had stopped walking. He didn’t move away from her, or pull his arm from her touch.

“Will you spend the day with me? I feel so out of place here.” She asked before she started to second guess the idea.

Solas turned to look at her, looking at her with curious eyes. “Ma Nuvenin, But I suggest you get dressed or you might start rumors.“ Solas said smiling at her. At that moment she remembered she wasn’t wearing anything but her smalls. She couldn’t help but laugh as she moved away to get some clothes, Solas only turning  
to face the door so she could get dressed.

****  
The sun had started to set, the day was almost over. They had spent the whole day talking about the fade, spirits, mage, and the history the Dalish had forgotten. She couldn’t help but smile, this day went way better then she expected. She didn’t want the day to end, She just wanted to stay in this moment talking to him, without having to worry about tomorrow.

“Thank you Solas, Today was almost perfect.” She said turning to look into his eyes, He was standing a couple of steps behind her. He smiled before saying “May I ask what would make the day perfect, Lethallan?” He fell right into her trap, she moved closer to grabbing his arms pulling them in front so she could hold his hands. “It would be perfect if you would spin with me, Will you?” she asked smiling at him.

“And why would I do that?” Solas replied.

“Because then the day would be perfect, Oh come on you know you want to!” She said as she started to pull him to try and spin with their hands still locked together. “Loosen up and enjoy the moment Solas!” He didn’t stop her as she pulled harder to make them spin, She couldn’t help but laugh.

They continued to spin for a few moments before she twisted her ankle, her hands letting go of his as she started to fall. Before she hit the floor she felt him grab  
a hold of her hips pulling her closer to him. She closed her eyes before they made contact with the floor. He had broken her fall, She was laying on top of him.

She could feel the warmth of his body underneath her, she didn’t attempt to move. Her eyes were still closed, she didn’t open them. Instead she took a moment to catch her breath, She felt him adjust a little before he tried to clear his throat.

“Lethallan? Are you alright?” She heard him say before his arms tightened around her.

“Yes, I just twisted my ankle. I’ll be fine.” She pulled her self out of his embrace so she could look at her ankle. She started to call her magic forth so she could  
heal herself. Her ankle had already started to swell, she could feel Solas’s eyes on her as she worked her magic.

“You have the gift of healing?” she heard him say, she could feel him moving closer to her. He was right behind her before she deicided to respond to the question that he just asked her, well more of an observation. His chest was just a inch away from her back, so close to touching.

“Of course I do, I can also put up barriers like yourself. Or did you not notice that the last couple of weeks fighting with me?” she said unable to hide the amusement  
in her voice, she couldn’t help but turn and smile at him.

“I noticed the barriers, You are always putting them over me. But I wasn’t aware that you had mastered healing.” Solas spoke softly as he now looked into her eyes. His eyes were full of curiosity, trying to figure out who she was.

“Solas, you don’t know everything about me.” she laughed out, still looking up at him “Yet.” He started to stand holding out his hand to help her up, She grab his hand as she pulled her self up. They were both soaken wet from the snow, she started to pat off the remaining snow on her breeches as she said “Why don’t we head to my place, So I can change and we can put your clothes by the fire to dry?”

“Ma serannas, Lethallan. But we both should rest, we have a big day tomorrow. After all we must go to Val Royeaux.” Solas said bringing her hand it to his lips kissing it softly before saying “On Nydha. Dareth Eran’en, Lethallan.” with his lips still near her hand. Her breath caught she could barely breath, barely able to speak.

“On Nyda. Dareth Eran'an, Solas.” she managed to squeak out as he pulled away and started to walk back to the main part of Haven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Authors Note!!**
> 
> The elven language I am using here. (On Nydha. Dareth Eran’en, Lethallan.) Is a mixture of project elvhen, canon, and independently coined phrase from another writer Geeky-Jez.
> 
> On Nydha : Goodnight- Project Elvhen
> 
> Dareth Eran'en: Sleep Safely -Geeky-Jez
> 
> Lathallan: Blood Kin. -Canon
> 
> I will probably not mix them like this again unless I have to, But I wanted this chapter to end with that saying.


	11. Measuring the Veil (1/4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is about Solas personal quest, Pt. 1 there is some fluff and it has how the quest was brought to Zara’s Attention. Songsforclem Was a big help ending this part 1 chapter :-) She is a great friend and an amazing writer!

“It was just a dream” she told herself, rocking her body back and forth on her bed.

“It was just a dream, It was just a dream.” She had to shake this dream loose from her mind, or she would never be able to sleep again. She had dreamed all her friends and family had died. That she was unable to save them, She need to talk to Leliana about sending a letter home. Pulling herself out of bed so she could get dressed, she was wearing nothing but her smalls. Quickly putting on her breeches and a jacket before walking to the door, she need to know if Leliana had heard from her clan.

As she step outside she noticed that almost everyone was asleep in the little village of Haven. Making her way to Leliana’s tent she saw that there was no light on, and she wasn’t sure on were Leliana slept. So she wouldn’t be able to talk to her until the morning, this only angered her. All she could think about was home. Were they okay? Were they safe? Maybe she was just freaking out for no reason. She could feel the magic in her hand start to flare, she tried to shake it to make it stop.

The magic in her hand was different from her own magic, she wasn’t sure on how to control it yet. Shaking her hand did nothing to help, it just made it worse. Why did this happen to her, of all people. If only she could remember what happened at the conclave, turning back around to go back to her cottage. She could see a light inside Solas’s cottage, he was still awake. Maybe he could help, he could walk the fade after all and he had more understanding of the mark along with the breach.

She approached his cottage with the mark still flaring like crazy. What was he doing awake still, everyone else was asleep. She thought he would be searching the fade during the night. Coming to a stop at his door, she used her other hand to bang on it. She didn’t have much patience after the dream, along with her mark having a mind of its own. She could hear a shuffle behind to door before it was yanked open, Solas was standing in front of her the expression on his face that showed she had intruded on something he was working on. Not waiting for him to speak she push past him walking into the cottage, pushing her hand towards him.

“Please help me! It won’t stop! Its going to drive me mad!” She couldn’t help but yell, she was so frustrated. Solas closed the door before taking her hand into his. He looked at it for a couple of minutes before he spoke “Lethallan, you need to calm down. The more you get upset, the more it will act out. Just  
breath.” as he said this he messaged her hand around the mark. She took a couple of big breaths, before the mark finally slowed down. A couple more breaths it would stop completely.

“Ir abelas, I shouldn’t have just came in without permission.” She said to Solas unable to look at him. Solas’s hand reached out to barely touch her chin as he turned her face up to him as he said “Don’t be. If you ever need help I am here, Lethallan.” She rushed forward to hug him, her arms going around his waist. She could feel his breath stalled for a moment before he put his arms around her. She had such a horriable night she need to just be here, needed someone to comfort her. Someone to tell her everything would be okay, that it was just a dream. “Ma serannas, Solas.” she whispered with her head against his chest.

He brought a hand to the back of her head as he responded “Anytime, Lethallan.”

****  
Solas and Zara had been talking for hours, laying on his bed not having a care in the world. They could feel themselves getting tired but they did not want to give into sleeping when reality was better then awaited them in the fade. Zara couldn’t help but feel safe laying there in his bed, she felt much better.

Having that dream had shaken her to the core. Being here with him she felt happy, she even felt safe. The more time she spent with him, the more she felt safe. At first it was simply because he was an elf. But now it grew into something more, he was always trying to help her. She could help but feel like he was the only thing she should come to understand in Haven.

When they weren’t talking Zara laid there with her eyes closed, she was so tired. She had barely been able to sleep with everything going on, along with the nightmares that plagued her dreams. Laying there on his bed just talking, reminded her of home. Reminded her of a time when things where a lot easier, when there wasn’t a big whole that was now in the sky. A whole only she could close.Zara could still hear Solas talking but she could no longer fight off the fade. She fell asleep laying next to Solas, more relaxed then she had even been since her arrival in Haven.

When Solas noticed her asleep he stopped talking, got up to blow the candle out before laying down next to her. She seemed so peaceful, he didn’t want to wake her. Even tho a part of him said she need to leave, that he couldn’t get close to her. He had already gone to far, when they went for a walk and he kissed her hand. He was letting this go to far, He couldn’t have feelings for this woman. Not with everything at stake, But he couldn’t bring himself to push her away.Not yet, Not when he just started to earn her trust. He need her to trust him, he wanted her to trust him.

Solas pulled the blanket laying at the end of the bed over Zara, It was cold here in Haven. He got in the bed laying next to her, watching her sleep. He moved his hand to push the hair that was in her face behind her ear. His eyes started to feel heavy as he laid there looking at her, he let himself slip into the fade. He was half tempted to share a dream with her, to walk along with her in the fade. But he knew now was not it time, not yet.

****

Solas had awoken to find Zara laying on his chest with his arms wrapped around her. Zara’s breathing was still slowed so he could tell that she was still in the fade, He didn’t move, He wanted to enjoy this moment before they had to get up, before she would pulled away from him embarrassed she had cuddle up to him.

There was a banging on the door that startled Solas into sitting up, Leliana had came into his cottage. He could barely make out what she was saying to him “Solas, we need your help. It would seem no one knows where Lady Levallan is, She isn’t in her cottage and Cassandra seems to believe that she run off to go home.” Leliana was looking at the papers not even seeing that Zara had awoken next to Solas. Zara was now staring at her, her face was starting to turn red when she started to speak out.

“Leliana, I am right here. I did not run off in the night.” Zara responded, fighting the laughter that almost escaped her lips. The idea that she would run off like a scared child amused her. Zara did not explain her self to Leliana on why she stayed the night with Solas.

“Is there a reason you or Cassandra were looking for me?” Zara asked Leliana who was now staring at Solas.

“We have a meeting at the war table in about ten minutes, and here are the papers that will catch you up to speed.” Zara reached out to take the papers as Leliana spoke.

Solas watched the two women talk about things they had to get ready for, talked about who at ask to get help to close the breach.

“Alright, as soon as I change I will meet you in the War Room.” Solas heard Zara say to Leliana finishing their conversation. For the entire conversation Solas and Zara were still in the bed together, with Leliana standing next to bed not feeling comfortable enough to sit down. Zara had now moved to get off the bed and leave with Leliana,

Solas spoke up before she reached the door “Lethallan, may I have a word before you leave.” He was looking at her with an stern face. “Of course, Solas” Zara turned her head to Leliana, Who was waiting for her.

“I’ll see you in a bit, Don’t worry I am not going to run off. I will remain here as long as there are rifts, and the breach to deal with. That is my duty and I will not let anyone down. So next time I am not in my cottage please do not jump to conclusions, just wait for me to make an appearance.” Leliana bowed her head “Yes, Lady Lavellan.” Leliana left the cottage leaving Solas and Zara alone.

Even since Zara told Leliana to find another way to handle the spy that was a risk to the Inquisition, they were at odds. Zara’s request came out more of a demand then she intended, Zara only wanted to show Leliana that killing was not always the answer. That sometimes it was best to find another way. After all, if Leliana hadn’t stopped Cassandra, Zara believe she wouldn’t be here standing before them.

Zara was sure that Leliana had understood at the time, She felt compelled to talk to Cassandra and Leliana to get on better terms with them. The last thing she wanted was the the shemlen to hate her, Zara made a note in her mind that she should talk to them after the war table meeting.

***

“Lethallan, While we slept I felt the presence of an elven artifact, that I believe can help up strengthen the veil. I was hoping that we could seek it out.” Solas said as soon as Leliana walked out the door. Looking at him she could tell that this was really important, not just to him but also for everyone else. She would be more then happy to help him, specially if it meant that they would have more time together.

“Solas that will be perfectly fine, We can leave after the meeting. If you can get the horses ready, the two of us can leave right after.” Zara said smiling up at him they could spend the whole day together.

“Alright, I’ll mark it on the map. So, It’ll just be the two of us?” Solas asked her.

She couldn’t see his face. So she wasn’t exactly sure on how he felt about just the two of them going. “If that is okay with you? I mean you said that it was an Elven Artifact, I doubt the others would be interested in going.” She replied turning away from him so she could leave and get this meeting over with.

“Zara?” Solas said as she reached for the door.

“Yes, Solas.” She replied with her hand resting on the doorknob.

“May I ask, Why did Cassandra thinks you ran off to go home?” hearing him ask this made her turn around to look at him. He was starting right at her, with  
curious eyes.

“Because, when we spoke yesterday I said I missed my clan. That if I could I would leave now. But that is not an option, For now I belong here. I have to help, I can’t just ignore everything that is going on. What kind of person would I be if I just walked away, without out even trying. I miss my people, I have never been away this long before. I am not used to so many shems worshiping me, calling me the Herald. I do not believe in their gods, I am not this Herald of Andraste. I am a Dalish elf, how can I expect them to accept me, accept my people. They call us savages, but not all of us deserve being call that.”

“Just like not every elf that isn’t Dalish, should be called flat-ear. The Dalish shouldn’t push the rest of the elves away, Its wrong. I love them, but I do not agree with there ideals, or the way most Dalish live.” she told him, a tears escaping from her eyes she turned away so he wouldn’t see.

Solas was surprised on easily she opened up to him, how she beard her heart out to him. Solas walked up to her pulling her face towards him, this thumb wiping away the tears on her cheek.

“Lethallan, I didn’t know you felt this way.” Solas said as he pulled her into his arms.

“How could you? I barely talk about my feelings.” Zara replied, as she buried her head in his chest.

“I am honor you told me. If you ever need someone to talk to I am here Lethallan.” Solas could feel her pull away. He wanted to ease her pain, to take it all way. He wanted to hold her, to feel her body against his, to be the one she went to when she need comfort.

“Ir abelas, I didn’t mean to unload all this on you, I must go. Before they start another search party. I’ll see you soon Solas.” She said pulling away from him. She hadn’t meant to tell him so much, but she could help it. She felt as tho, she could tell him anything and he would understand.

Zara and Solas eye meet, they stood there for a minute before Zara opened the door and walked out of the cottage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have 4 parts total for this chapter/story (1/4)


	12. Measuring the Veil (2/4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zara makes up with Leliana and Cassandra, Then meets Solas

“Asking the mages for help will be a mistake.” Cullen said to Zara, she was beyond frustrated this was taking longer then she planned.

“Why, Why would mages be a mistake? I am a mage!” Zara couldn’t help but hide the frustration in her voice.

“But you’re different!” he said, agitated at her.

“WHY! Because of the mark?” as she said this she slammed her hands on the war table. Her body shaking, she didn’t want to have this argument all over again. She was suppose to be meeting with Solas.

“You know what, I am done with this conversation! Leliana, will you let me know when you hear from my clan? Cullen, I guess if you can learn more about the templars situation that would be great. Josie, see if you can contact the Arl of Redcliff about the mages.” Zara said as she turned to leave the room.

“Leliana will you join me for a minute?” She said calling over her shoulder. Leliana grabbed her letters and followed her out leaving Josie and Cullen in the room.

Zara knew she need to say sorry about the other day, she had been trying to earn the trust of the shems. She couldn’t do that if they kept getting mad at her, her people were savages as they said. So to lock in her safety, so maybe she could go home she needed to earn there trust. Even if it meant being nice, Even if it meant to try and be less hostile to them. This morning made it clear that Leliana seem to take offense to what she said, and she need to make that right.

“Look, Leliana. I’m sorry about the other day, I didn’t mean to tell you how to do your job. I just felt like there was another way.” she said turning to look at Leliana

“Don’t worry about it, you were right. Not killing him help, we were able to gather more information with him alive.” Leliana replied smiling at her.

“Then I am glad.” Zara said touching Leliana’s arm. Hopefully the tension that built up between them would fade away. “Oh, I forgot. Solas and I will be gone for the day. He wants to look into an Elven Artifact that might be able to help us.” 

“Alright, I’ll let the others know.” Leliana said before she walked away.

***

Zara knew she was late, she didn’t mean to keep him waiting. After last night she felt closer to him, she had opened up to him. She started running to her cottage, she need to change and grab her pack before heading to meet up with Solas. She was sure his patience was wearing thin, She was held up in the war room for almost an hour. She was ready to get outta the village to take a break.

Zara opened the door of her cottage to find Cassandra sitting at her desk. She wondered if this was about, her accusing Zara of running off. She had made the wrong impression on Cassandra. “Hello, Seeker.” Zara said pulling her from her thoughts, her face was full of worry.

“Lady Lavellan, It would seem that I spoke wrong of you.” the seeker said with her head down.

“It’s okay, I understand how it looked. I said I would rather be home then here, and the next thing you know I am not in my cottage. I am sorry for putting doubt in your mind.” Zara said walking to Cassandra to place a hand on her shoulder.

“I hope we can learn to trust each other. Seeker, I promise I am not going anywhere until we fix this mess.” Zara told her, moving away to get some of her things together.

Cassandra saw that she was packing her bag, but decided it was best if she did not ask. Especially after what happened this morning “I’m sorry for my part. I will let you get back to what you were doing.” She said as she got up and walked out the door.

Zara was stunned, she hadn’t expected Cassandra to apologize to her. Maybe she was judging her a little to hard, when she got back she would have to talk to her more It took a minute before she could recover from the shock.

She was now an hour and thirty minutes late to meet Solas, She hoped he wouldn’t be upset with her.

***

She found him standing by the stables, she couldn’t help but smile. He was so handsome, standing there in tight green breeches and his wool sweater. A bag throw over his shoulder. He wasn’t facing her so she had the perfect view of his ass, and she had to admit it was a nice one. She bit her lip thinking about what he looked like completely naked, She had only seen the top half so that left her imagination to run wild.

“Solas” she whispered standing right behind him.

He turned to look at her “Lady Lavellan.” he said bowing and grabbing her hand pulling it to his face, his lips brushing against her skin as he kissed her hand.This only made her mind race even more, his lips were soft and warm.

She couldn’t help but smile at him “Are you….” she tried to clear her throat “Ready? Sorry it took so long.”

“Yes, our are horses ready.” he said standing back up making his way to the horses. It pleased Solas that he could make her blush, He thought she was so beautiful, no goddess could hold a flame to her. He was looking forward to spending the rest of the day with her.

She may have taken longer then planned but he didn’t mind, “The artifact is in the Hinterlands. So we must leave now if we want to arrive before sunset.” Solas told her with a smile.

“Alright, then lets go!” Zara replied.

They mounted their horse and made way for the Hinterlands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Authors note: I decided to cut this shorter then planned so pt. 3 will be when they arrive, yes I plan on using in game dialogue as a guide for this next part but I will have my work dialogue in there as well. Because I know exactly how I want Zara to react to the other Dalish elf. This is gonna be fun.
> 
> Something to look forward to, Zara getting on the Elf who calls Solas Flat-ear.
> 
> (2/4)


	13. Measuring the Veil (3/4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zara and Solas make it to the spot marked on the map, only to meet another Dalish elf who starts lying to them. Zara loses her temper when the elf calls Solas a flat-ear. Songsforclem and Lyriumrebel (aka Hawkeeye733) inspired me on some of this. Geeky-Jez helped me get information I needed. These guys are amazing! If you haven't already I suggest you check out their work. :-)

“The Elven Artifact should be around here.” Solas said bringing his horse to a stop.

“Alright lets look around.” Zara replied.

Shortly after they tied there horses to a near by tree they heard a women yelling. Solas and Zara made eye contact, they already knew they had the same idea. They started to run in the direction they heard the yelling come from. As they broke threw the trees, they could see a women fighting a demon by herself. Zara threw a barrier around her and Solas as they ran to join the fight. The fight was over shortly with three mage against one demon, it didn’t stand much of a chance.”

“Andaran Atish'an, I did not expect to see another Dalish blood here. I am Mihris.” The woman spoke out to them, she couldn’t be more the age of 19. The new vallaslin of June upon her face, colored as grey as her hair. “By your weapons I see you come ready for battle. Perhaps we face a common enemy in these demons.” Mirish said looking back and forth between Solas and Zara.

Zara felt like something was wrong, What was this Dalish elf doing all the way out in the Hinterlands. She was sure there was no clans near by “Are you fighting the demons on your own?” Zara asked her. She could see Mihris hesitate before answering.

“Fighting the demons is pointless, there will always be more. I have no means of closing the rifts.” Mihris spoke quickly. “I have heard of Elven Artifact..” Zara let out a small laugh. “Is that so? Where did you hear about this?” Zara asked her trying to get more information on what she was doing here. She found it funny that as soon as Solas and her show up for this Elven Artifact, there is this child who is also looking for it.

Mihris ignored her question and continued to talk. “It measures the veil, they may tell us where new rifts may appear. I was not expecting so many demons however I believe one of the artifact are near by, can you help me reach it?”

Zara didn’t say anything, if she played this right she would be able to get the answers she wanted and help Solas get to the elven artifact. She looked back at Solas who was watching her, She smiled at him before turning to talk to Mihris.

“Sure, It sound worth investigating. Don’t you agree Solas?” Zara said never taking her eyes off Mihris.

“Yes, Lady Lavellan.” she heard Solas say, unable to see that he was smiling at her.

“Thank you, It shouldn’t be much farther ahead.” Mihris said as she started to walk away from them. A couple of minutes later they were at what seemed to be a temple that had fallen apart. Zara could see a door that was blocked with stones, they would have to use magic to get past it.

“Thank you again for joining me I don’t think I could have done this alone.” Zara heard Mihris say behind her, “Mihris? How did you come to be here.” as she spoke she could feel Solas watching her. She had a feeling that they both weren’t sure of what to make of this women.

“I was- am- First of Clan Vernhan. I left in service of my clan and saw that great tear in the veil on my journey. I know more of magic and the veil than any shemlen. So I hoped to help.” Mihris seem nervous talking to them, she was hiding something. Her and Solas both knew this “There is something you are not telling me Da’len. What took you away from your clan?” Zara said turning to look at her, she could see that Mihris had started to sweat.

“They were all killed… By a demon my keeper was foolish enough to summon. I am the only survivor of Clan Vernhan. I was searching for another clan to take me in when the breach appeared. Now I am doing whatever I can to help with this madness.” They knew she was still lying to them, about something. But Zara knew that she wasn’t going to get anymore answers from her.

“Ma Harel, Da'len.” Solas said looking at the women, if he didn’t say it Zara would have.

“We should keep moving.” Mihris said looking at them both, while she made her way to the blocked door.

Mihris studied the blocked door trying to figure a way to move the stones. “We will need focused magical energy to get by you, Flat-ear can you manage it?” Mihris spit the word out at Solas. He was amused that this child thought she was better then him, He would do as she asked only because Zara was standing next to him. If he was alone, he would make her eat those words and make her think twice before she crossed the one who hunts alone.

“Ma nuvenin, Da'len.” Solas said tilting his head down. Before he could move the rocks he saw Zara moving quickly towards Mihris. He could tell she was mad, with her fist clenched to her sides. Zara reached out to Mihris’s armor, grabbed a hold of the should and slammed her into the broken rock. Her teeth bared at the women’s neck as she hissed “You have lied to us, and now you dare to insult my friend?.” Zara’s hand sparkled with magic as she slammed it into the rock near Mihris’s head.

“I suggest you watch you’re self, He is not a flat-ear. Address him like that again, I will cut your ears off and then we’ll see who looks like the flat-ear. I am not as understanding or patience as my friend.” Zara pulled herself away from the women, turning to Solas. He was smiling at her, she didn’t understand why but at that moment she didn’t worry about it.

Grabbing his arm and leaning in to whisper in his ear, “Solas, Are you alright?” She knew that he had bad run-ins with the Dalish before they met. As long as she was with him she would go out of her way to protect him from her people’s harsh methods and views.

He didn’t speak but shook his head saying that he was fine, before moving to left up the rocks. Mihris was still clearly shaken by Zara threat that she just quietly moved out of his way and waited as he worked his magic.

Solas hadn’t seen Zara act this way before. Usually Zara was always nice and finding a way to make everything work without using violence. Was this out of character for her? Or had he not been able to see this particular side of her? Either way he didn’t care, It only made him like her more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **** Author’s Note- Thought I would stop it here and leave some action for the next and last part! Haven’t decided it I will make Pt. 3 NSFW but I know for sure there will be flirting and bunches of fluff!!!**
> 
> (3/4)


	14. Measuring the Veil Pt.4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last part! I wanted you and Solas to be able to look into Zara’s past! I hope everyone likes it!
> 
> A big thanks to LyriumRebel who not only help edit it, but also talked to me about what I would put in this last chapter :-) But I think I did surprised her with where I took this.

"There! If we activate that crystal it should react to the strength of the veil.” Mihris said pointing at the orb shaped crystal that was sitting in the back of the temple. After Zara had threatened her, Mihris tried to stay out of their way in fear that she might make the whole situation worse.

“Oh, of course you would know. What was it you said earlier?” Zara spoke back to her, looking at Solas and putting her hand to her chin to make it look as though she was trying to remember what she had said. “Oh that’s right: You know more of magic and the veil than any shemlen.” she spoke again with bitterness in her voice mocking the elf. Zara was still pissed at this woman for what she said.

Zara walked up to the artifact putting her anchor towards it and twisting her wrist to bring it to life.“ I am quite sure my friend over here knows more then you Da'len.” Zara spoke again, she could hear Solas chuckle under his breath trying not to be loud. Maybe that is why Varric calls him Chuckles, she loved his laugh. It could always bring a smile to her face.

Mihris moved away from them, she was set on ignoring them. Walking to the orb Zara could see her bending down to pick up some amulet that she found on the ground. Mihris made a short laugh before saying “Well, that should prove useful. And it seems the ancestors left something for me as well. Interesting. I believe our alliance is concluded. Go in peace stranger.” she made her way to leave the temple when Zara’s hand reached out and grabbed the elf’s arm.

“Mana. Ma Ha Lani (wait, help me). There are few I can trust without my own people turning against me. Have I not proven myself? I am of your blood, or have you forgotten that. And I may be able to use what you’ve found.” Zara said, still holding on to her arm.

“I… Perhaps you are right. Here. Take it.” Mihris said as she tried to pull away from Zara.

But Zara only pulled her in closer, until her head was once again tilted at her neck before speaking in a low hiss “Dal'en. Ma banail las halamshir var vhen. Dirthara-ma.” (Little one, you do nothing to further our people, May you learn.) After saying this Zara pushed the woman away and turned to Solas.

“Alright, let’s go before I do something to this child.” Zara said, making her way to leave the temple. Solas, a couple of steps behind her, stopped for a second turning back to Mihris “Dareth shiral.” (Safe journey) he said his head bowing towards her. 

Zara was sure by now Solas was used to the insults that her people said to him. But she was not, and she felt ashamed to call this women lethallan.

***

They had made camp at the old campsite the templars had used. She was able to talk him into camping here so they could clean the blood from themselves under the waterfall. The armor they were wearing was covered in blood from killing all the demons in the temple, they would have to wash it off and sit in their smalls while it dried. This didn’t bother Zara since nudity wasn’t a big deal among the Dalish, and Solas thought it would be fine since she had already seen him half naked. Not that he would tell her that he knew, he kept that to himself.

After they took turns bathing they sat on the rocks near the waterfall, resting before they laid down to sleep under the stars. Zara would steal glances at Solas as her eyes followed the lines that ran along his muscles. With him closer she could see that he didn’t have any scars.

He must be a better mage then he seemed because, being a mage they were distance fighters so, sometimes a warrior would run up to them and land a blow on them. The armor was light and enchanted so it did little to protect them from those kind of hits. Zara had more than one scar to prove this theory.

“Sorry about today, my People shame me.” Zara said breaking the silence.

“Don’t be, you do not answer for their actions.” Solas said to her, turning to look at her. He didn’t dare touch her, since they were both pretty much naked he didn’t want to send the wrong message and start something with her that he couldn’t finish. It would be easier for her if he didn’t push the boundaries of the friendship they had now. Kinder in the long run if, they just remained friends.

“Still, like I said I do not approve of some things they do or say.” Zara said, not looking at him, worried that he might see she was on the edge of breaking.

“You know before the conclave, I was made First in my clan. I told myself that I would teach them to be kinder, to make them try and understand things before they rejected it.” She said in a strained voice.

Solas didn’t interrupt her, instead he just placed his hands in his lap as he listened to her continue talking. “The conclave changed my life. I hadn’t gone alone, a man that I was seeing in the clan came with me as support. He was a warrior and would be able to fight and help protect me if it came to it. He didn’t make it.”

Zara said while a tear leaked from her eye. She didn’t wait for him to say something, she kept talking.

“I am sure you are curious as to why I chose to honor Falon'din.” she spoke trying to keep it together, so her voice wouldn’t crack and show how emotionally damaged she was.

“I had wondered, but I would never ask.” He told her, He could see the tears on her cheek but was unsure on how to act.

“I’ll tell you.” she said to him, her hands holding on to the rock she was sitting on to steady herself.

“Sometimes it feels like everyone I love dies. I lost my mother, best friend and my friend - the one from the conclave. When I was growing up shems had caught my mother and my best friend. Before killing them, they…they forced them. My father was unable to stop them, when he returned he broke the news to my keeper and then he ran. They were after my father, and taking my mother and friend was meant as an example for him. They thought my friend was my sister, they did not realize their mistake….“ Zara’s voice had finally betrayed her and broke.

Solas moved his hand to her knee to try and comfort Zara who was now crying. “Lethallan, you do not have to continue if this hurts.” he said with his fingers rubbing her skin.

“I need to talk to someone about it, I never have before. After the conclave it just brought up the memories, and they have plagued my dreams with nightmares. If I don’t tell someone I fear it will get worse.” She said gaining control of her voice and tears as she put her hand on his and continued her story.

“When I came of age, I chose Falon'din because he was the one who is a friend of the dead. The one who would guide them into the beyond. I still have some family left, but after that happened it changed me. No I do not trust the shems, but I will not hold each one accountable for the events that took place. That would be wrong of me, I am a better person than that.” Zara finished finally, looking at Solas who had compassion in his eyes.

“I did not tell you this for you to pity me, I told you this so you would understand why I lost my cool today. I don’t think the Dalish should turn their back on their own people. There aren’t many of us left, we have no room to judge and condemn each other.” She said, her voice getting low till they were sitting in silence. Zara had not spoken after this, waiting to hear what Solas was going to say after pouring more of her heart out to him.

Solas moved closer to Zara, wrapping his arms around her and whispering in her ear “Thank you, for trusting me enough to tell me. I am sorry for your loss, lethallan.” As he spoke he held her tighter. He now knew that Zara had suffered great loss in her life, losing her mother, best friend, and maybe even a lover. Zara didn’t pull away from him, she just sat there in his arms while the tears came rushing back.


	15. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (This is my new chapter! A big thanks to Llynnyia and Wolf-Dreams, Halla Wakes, whom helped me put this together and edited it :-) I hope you enjoy it!)

It was a cold night. The snow was at least a foot deep on the ground. It had been a very long exhausting day. By now most people in Haven would either be just going to bed or already asleep. It had been two days since they returned from Redcliff, gaining the mages as allies. Zara had insisted that they would be free and not roped into another circle, that they were here as allies, not prisoners.

Solas was sitting in his little cottage unable to sleep. The shouldering embers from the fire he had made earlier in the hearth was the only lighting he had. The chair was uncomfortable, after sitting on its hard surface for hours. He had started to get an ache in his back, but all he could think about was what happened at Redcliff. Thinking about what had taken place. Why Zara seemed so upset, did she see something about the orb? Did she find out who he really was in that alternate future? These thoughts plaguing his mind, with so many questions he didn’t have answers to.

Ever since they came back from Redcliff, Zara had changed. She no longer came to talk to him. She wasn’t as happy. Her bubbly personality had changed to something he had never seen in her before. She completely withdrew from the group, it was like she was trying not to talk to anyone. Instead, she locked herself in her cottage, pushing everyone away as soon as they arrived back in Haven from the trip.

Everyone he spoke with was worried about her, but she wouldn’t talk about what happened. The Tevinter mage, Dorian barely knew anyone so he wasn’t opening up either about what had happened. Every time someone had approached the Altus and asked him about what happened he would just simply say “Ask her if she wants. She will tell you.” his voice sharp.

What had shaken her to her core, to the point that she closed everyone off? He needed to talk to her. If she was emotionally distressed it could impact her survival when closing the breach.

He made this way to her cottage, the cold snow crushed beneath his feet. Most of the cottages windows were already dark, but he could see that her lantern was still lit.

“Good” she is still awake he thought.

Standing in front of the wooden door at her cottage, he debated if now was the best time to talk to her. What if she didn’t let him in? What if this made her push him away even more? He picked at his fingers once again unsure if he should know or just leave now. He took a big breath to calm his nerves, and reached for the door.

“NOOO!! STOPP!!” Zara screamed her voice loud even through the heavy solid oak door. Unslinging his staff, Solas rushed through the unbarred entrance, only to skid to a stop. The fireplace was roaring merrily, her papers lay undisturbed on the desk. However just because all seemed fine did not mean there was not an unseen threat. Cautiously he sidestepped closer to the desk, yet he still could not see anything in the cottage that bespoke of danger.

On the desk, he could see that she had a drawing of a wolf. Maybe she did learn something about him in the future. Perhaps something that his future self had told her? What did she know? If she did know something how come he hadn’t been taken and thrown in the barracks? Maybe she didn’t know and he was just worrying over nothing. He was sure if she knew something, she would have confronted him.

“No, No, No. Please don’t take him!” he heard her shout again. Turning his head he saw her on the bed, Solas watched her toss and turn underneath her covers and black wolf pelt. He put his staff against the desk before walking to her and sitting on the edge of the bed.

Sweat clung to her skin, her face a light shade of pink. Her hair stuck to her face and neck, he reached out and moved the clinging strand out of her face. Suddenly she started to scream and thrash as if fending off an unseen attacker, arms moving to block herself.

“Lethallan, wake up,” he said as he moved to grab her arms to pull her towards him. Before she did any harm to herself or him, while she was locked inside this nightmare.

***  
She was standing in the middle of a field, the tall grass brushing softly against her knees. Her sister just had a baby boy before she had left for the Conclave. She was holding him in her arms. Little pointed ears, straight black hair, and with his bright green eyes he stared back at her.

“Well aren’t you just handsome,” she cooed at the baby, rocking him back and forth. At this moment, she had no care in the world. She was back at home. She could feel the warm sun against her skin, the soft caress of the western breeze, the familiar smells of lavender, pine, and grass. Everything played like music to/for her senses. She was relaxed at this moment, soaking in every second before it was shattered away.

She started to sing the lullaby of her people, her voice ringing softly like bells.

“Elgara vallas, da'len.  
Melava somniar  
Ara ma'desen melar

Iras ma ghilas, da'len  
Ara ma'desen melar  
Dirthara lothlenan'as  
Bal emma mala dir

Tel'enfennim da'len  
Irassal ma ghilas  
Ma garas mir renan  
Are ma'athlen vhenans  
Ara ma'athlen vhenans”

She tried to enjoy this moment, to just be here with him. Not having to think about anything else. But, something tugged at the corners of her mind. When she looked up from the baby, she could see things had taken a malevolent turn. Across the dry field where her Dalish clan had set up camp, was consumed in flames. People were fighting, she could hear screams that she hadn’t heard moments before.

A man started to approach her. She didn’t know who he was. He was taller than her and carrying a sword dripping with blood. His face was clammy, his hair was oily and slicked back. He looked sick, his eyes a dark red. He was sick with red lyrium. Zara recognized him as one of the shard bearing commanders she slew in Redcliff. What was he doing here? Didn’t she already kill him? Thoughts racing through her mind as he lunged and grabbed for the baby.

She tried to call her magic to her fingertips, so she could protect the baby and herself. But the magic wasn’t there to pull from, the energy she usually felt in the back of her soul was gone. Nothing inside her stirred or danced when she called it forth. The closer he got, the more scared she became. Her legs started to shake. She could feel the sweat and now dampened her forehead.

“NOOO!! STOP!” she shouted, but he still kept coming, she tried to run, but it felt like her feet were frozen to the floor.

“No, No, No. Please don’t take him!” desperation rang in her voice.

As soon as he laid his hands on the baby, the scene changed and she was in Redcliff with Solas, Sera, Iron Bull, and Leliana’s bodies all around her. She couldn’t look away, this happens because of her. Because she failed, everyone she cared about was dead.

It felt as though she couldn’t breathe, her lungs tightened around her gasping breaths. The guilt threatened to choke her very breath from her lungs.

The weight of guilt caused her to fall to her knees on the floor next to Solas. She placed her hand gently on his eyelids sliding them down to close them. She screamed when she heard his voice and his pale lips started to move. “Lethallan, wake up.” She couldn’t help but to scream, he was supposed to be dead.

She scrambled backwards trying to get away from his body, across the sticky bloodstained floor. But his voice still reaching out to her. “Wake up!” his corpse commanded again. She started to scream again just to block out his haunting voice, she had did this to him. He was dead because of her, and now his body was possessed by some demon or spirit that was determined to punish her.  
“Wake up!” he repeated, the world shook around her.

****  
Zara woke up, she was sitting up in her bed held firmly against Solas’ warm chest with both her wrist trapped in his steady hands.

“Zara? Zara? Are you awake,” Solas asked her. His voice smooth and calming.  
Her eyes shot to his, remembering his lifeless body lying on the floor. She flinched away from him. “What are you doing in here?” her voice cracked. She watched concern flash across his face. He shifted away from her to stand up next to the bed. But before she could stop herself, her hand reached out to grab his wrist.

She didn’t want him to leave, she needed someone. Anyone.

“I’m sorry for the intrusion. I came over to speak to you, and I heard you screaming. I thought you were in danger.” Solas said looking away from her. He wasn’t sure what to do now she was awake, Should he just leave?

“Thank you… For waking me,..” her voice broke, betraying her.

Zara glanced away from him. She didn’t want him to see her like this. So weak, so broken. She could feel him as he settled himself back on her bed, but she didn’t move to look at him. She had been trying to push them all away. She couldn’t risk them getting hurt because of her, He had given his life for her. She didn’t know what it meant. No one had ever done that for her.

“What troubles you, Lethallan?” he asked and placed his much larger hand on hers that still wrapped around his wrist tightly. She hadn’t really noticed how she was still holding on to him, and she quickly tried to pull her hand out from under his. However he tightened his hold, just enough to stop her movement.

“Don’t push me away, I want to help.” Without even looking at his face, she could hear the worry in his voice.

“I’m sorry, I can’t… I have lost too much already…I…” her voice low, tears threatened at her eyes.

He understood this all too well. How could he expect her not to push him away? When he tried to hold her at arm’s length, how could he expect her to trust him when he wasn’t fully honest with her himself. He started to rise to his feet beside the bed, but Zara’s grips tightened on his wrist once more.


End file.
